Friendship in the Pit

Yeah!! One hurdle crossed. Yesterday was the last of the 4 Adriamycin & Cytoxan treatments. Now onto 12 weekly treatments of Taxotere. I was a little concerned about the port working after so much trouble with it the last time but with all the prayers and about 10 minutes of all but standing on my head, it worked like a charm! Thanks for the prayers.

Even though this was the last of this chemo cocktail, it was certainly not the easiest. My blood work shows significant anemia, hence the fatigue and shortness of breath. But the nausea was wicked. I was sick all day and was disappointed I had to miss Eric's first softball game of the season. But they smoked 'em 24-1 so I guess I didn't miss much of a game I.finally gave in tothe nausea and took the Phenergan. "Night night" for 14 hrs. I wish they could kind a anti-nausea drug that didn't put you in a coma.

Woke up feeling a little better today. There is a magic pill called Emend that you get to take for 3 days. It doesn't make you sleepy and works great for about 6 hours. So I am enjoying the benefits of that today. Wish that could be something you could take everyday though.

I opened my e-mail today, and as He has done several times in the past, God spoke to me in a devotional. I wanted to share it with you.

Friendship in the Pit
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1 by Os Hillman Wednesday, April 08 2009

"A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity." - Proverbs 17:17 "I am in there again," I told my friend. "The pit." A time when no one can cheer you up and you wonder if there ever was or is a God. Have you ever had such times? Discouragement can be devastating even to the best of saints. It can bring us so low. The writer of Proverbs phrased it well when he said, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick" (Prov. 13:12). When we get so low that we despair of our belief, we can identify with the prophet Elijah who wanted to die after being so discouraged with life. "I'm coming over," my friend said. "Aw, you don't have to do that," I said. "I'm coming over. We're going to pray." About 30 minutes later my friend walked in the door. We sat in living room and my friend began to pray. I didn't feel like praying. I was too deep in the pit. All I could do was listen. After awhile my friend was quiet. We both sat quietly for ten to fifteen minutes, praying quietly to ourselves. Suddenly my friend said, "First Thessalonians 5:24!" "What verse is that?" I asked.
"I don't know," she said. "That is the verse He spoke to me."
I grabbed my Bible and looked up the verse. "The one who calls you is faithful and He will do it." We laughed. Can He be so personal? Can He care that much? That night I grew more in my love of my two friends, not to mention being brought out of the pit. Do you have a friend who is there when you need somebody at any hour of the day? Are you there for your friend? Ask the Lord how you can be a better friend to someone today.

As I read this I thanked God for all the friends He has given me. Friends at church, friends at work, friends I have never even met, new friends I have made as a result of this journey. My friends let me ride on their hope when mine is dim and most importantly, My friends pray for me.

THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FRIEND!!

A Better Than Others Good Day

To quote my good friend Deloris, " Every day is a good day. Just some days are better than others." Today was "Better than others good day". Being the day BEFORE chemo I felt good enough to go in to work. I love working. I love the job that God has provided for me. I love the feeling of satisfaction in being able to care for sick babies.

One of the things that has been hard with this cancer is that people assume you are too sick or tired to do anything. So they don't ask. For me that has been harder to deal with than some of the physical obstacles. I think that is one reason why I am so blessed being able to go to work. I have a feeling of contributing and being needed.

My two patients today would be what some consider tiny. But in our NICU population they are BIG (5 and 6 pounds). In fact one of the doctors asked me if they picked out 2 of the biggest babies in the unit for me to take care of today. But I loved it. They were adorable babies and would open their eyes and look at me as if to say "Thank you for taking care of me." I thank God for letting me be His hands in caring for these sick little ones.

Well, tomorrow is the last round of 4 treatments of Adriamycin and Cytoxan. One leg of the journey will be completed. Yeah!! Got my Gator bag and my quilt and I'm ready to go.

Lamentations 3:23

Whatever It Takes

We just spent a wonderful week of Spring Break. Carl had the week off and we decided to take a week to relax. On Saturday we went to Epcot and saw the flower and garden festival. It was absolutely beautiful. We enjoyed walking around the park. It was a beautiful day. We even laughed as we chased my hat each time the wind blew it off. We ate at the German restaurant for the first time and walked out so full we could barely walk.

Monday we went to the Magic Kingdom with 5 million other spring breakers. After a couple of hours we went back to Epcot and spent the rest of the day walking around admiring the flowers and stuffing ourselves again at the German restaurant. Except for the bone pain, I had no trouble keeping up with Carl for 2 days of being playing tourist.

Tuesday we planted flowers at our house. Though it didn't quite measure up to Epcot they look beautiful in our yard. Carl planted the begonias in the shape of a treble clef and base clef. In the afternoon we went to see a movie, but we were so tired, we both slept through the entire movie.

Wednesday, we got to have lunch with Eric, Katie, Jayda and new baby Cooper. Being April fools day, Jayda said "Granny, I played a trick on Daddy this morning." I asked her what she did. She smiled that mischievous smile that I had seen many times on her daddy. "Well," she said, "I went into Daddy's room and cried. Daddy asked me what was wrong and I said. "I dropped baby Cooper on the floor on accident." I guess it got a reaction from Daddy. I laughed until I cried.

Thursday we went to Alabama to see my sister, brother-in-law and wonderful niece Jenna. We spent a relaxing 2 days visiting, enjoying the beauty of the country, watching Jenna ride Tank and play softball. We drove back Saturday night in time to enjoy a birthday dinner with our good friends, the Zabels.

The best part of the Spring Break week was today. Today was Palm Sunday. The beginning of Holy Week. Our choir presented a cantata called "The Love of Jesus". We had been practicing for weeks. I had sung it many times in the car as I practiced with the CD. But today, as I sang, God spoke to my heart several times. A time or two I was so moved by the music I could barely sing. As I sang the words to this song, I asked God to break my stubborn will and help me to do whatever it takes to draw closer to Him.

There's a voice calling me from an old rugged tree and it whispers "Draw closer to me."
Leave this world far behind. There are new heights to climb.
And a new place in Me you will find.
And whatever it takes, to draw closer to you Lord.
That's what I'll be willing to do.
And whatever it takes for my will to break
That's what I'll be willing to do.

Spring is a time to start anew. We do spring cleaning in our homes. We change our wardrobe to light, bright colors. We plant new flowers. I am grateful for the wonderful spring break week God allowed me to experience. I thank Him for allowing me to start anew when I make mistakes and fail to do His will. And I will praise Him for the new heights He would have me to climb, and pray that each and every day I would be able to do whatever it takes to draw closer to Him.