Is God Good All The Time?

Many times when someone experiences a blessing in their life, we hear the words "God is Good!" Someone who was very sick is healed and we hear "God is Good". An answer to prayer that we wanted brings a response of "God is Good. " An unexpected check comes in the mail and we say "God is so Good."

But what about the times we ask God for a miracle and don't get it? What about when a baby dies, a home is lost, a marriage falls apart or cancer strikes, then is God still good?

I love to think of God as a parent and I the child because it is so easy for me to relate to. When my children were small I wanted nothing more than to give them everything they asked for. But there were times when the answer just could not be "yes." When they wanted to go outside and play in the rain whilst lightning lit up the sky, my answer was no.

When they wanted to run the lawn mower before they were tall enough to see over the handle, the answer was "not now."

And, yes there were times when I had to sit by and watch them go through trials because I knew they needed to learn from it. It saddened me to have to see them hurt , but I had a bigger plan in mind for their lives. I knew that those trials would serve to help teach them and mold them into being the best that they could be.

I certainly made more than my share of mistakes along the way as a parent. But one thing I know, I love my children with all of my being. And my love for them doesn't begin to compare to the Father's love for us. "If you then, who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him." (Matt: 7:11)

Jer. 29:11 tells us "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Just as I had a small plan for my children's lives, God has an even bigger plan for my life. When I ask Him to take this cancer away and He says not now, HE IS STILL GOOD. For He Has a plan for my life. One day I will know and understand the plan, but for now I can rest in the fact that "He has begun a good work in me and will be faithful to carry it on until completion." (Phillipians 1:6)

Yes, God is good all the time. He is good through hurt, through pain, through loss, through cancer, through chemo, even through death. He chooses to heal or not heal for His own reasons. All of His decisions come from His love for us and His love and goodness remain constant. He cannot love us any more or any less than He does at this very moment. He is Good and Faithful through every single obstacle we face!

GOD IS GOOD ALL THE TIME AND ALL THE TIME GOD IS GOOD!

My Plans

Chemo #5 hasn't been as kind as chemo 1-4. The day started out good. We had lunch for Katie's birthday at Chipotle and I had a wonderful visit with them and baby Cooper. We had a giant sized burrito for lunch and that could have been the start of the problems. Carl dropped me off for the chemo at 2:00, stayed for a bit to see if the port would work and then left to go teach. I had the same nurse Myra as I had last week and she is wonderful. She is both caring, knowledgeable and personable. She also has a passion for oncology nursing and it shows.

Before she puts the needle in the port (the worst part for me) she sprays all around with this so-called numbing spray. I always tell her it must be a placebo because it still hurts to put the needle in. But this time I figured out it must be the real stuff because as I held my shirt over for her to spray she accidentally got some spray on my fingers. She put the needle in the port and it stung like crazy but my fingers were totally numb! (Go figure:)

The port drew on the first time. I think it likes the weekly access. The labs came back and Myra said "did you know you are anemic?" Then she laughed and said "You might look more like Popeye but your labs still look like Olive Oil"

For some reason this time I felt really sick with it. Perhaps it was the burrito right before chemo I don't really know. Katie came down to pick me up and take me home and by the time I got home I was so sick I had to take some Pheneregan. Went straight to bed and when Carl came in a couple of hours later he said I was sitting up in bed talking to myself. Don't even remember him coming in.

Today I woke up expecting to be wired from the steroids like the past few treatments but instead I was extremely tired and fuzzy headed. Not sure if this is what they call "chemo brain" or not. But I really wanted to go to bible study. Carl came and picked me up after bible study because I just didn't feel well enough to drive home. Got home and slept the rest of the day. So much for Wednesday being a good day from the steroids.

I think I have learned something from this though. Just when we think we have our life all figured out, we find out we don't. I had plans today to take advantage of a steroid induced energy; go to bible study, get several errands done, get some sewing projects done and go to choir. But my plans were not God's plans today.

Lately I have enjoyed reading out of the book of Proverbs. Tonight I opened the book and randomly started reading. Here are a couple of the scriptures I read;
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines His steps." (Proverbs 16:9)

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21

And as this day comes to a close, I realize once again that God directs each step I take according to His purpose. And tomorrow I will go with His plans and not mine. Lesson learned.

SENTENCES

I remember the main form of punishment when I was a disobedient child was writing sentences. I think I was writing sentences before I could write my name. In an effort to change my behavior, my sentences always began with "I will not..."

I will not flush my socks down the toilet.
I will not feed my green peas to the dog.
I will not send my little brother down the steps in his wagon.
I will not shave the dog or my little sister.

I was convinced that my father had a big book full of sentences to fit everything I did. I started out with 10 sentences as a very young child and distinctly remember writing 1,000 on several occasions when I was older. I'm not sure how effective the sentence writing was on my behavior but I did have the best handwriting in the class.

Today is chemo day. Usually it is at 9:00 in the morning but because of the holiday yesterday it is at 2:00. I think it's better when it's early so I don't have so much time to think about not wanting to go. So I am sitting here thinking about sentences. I just found out that I will need to return to work full-time before I am finished with chemo, radiation and surgery. My company has a policy that if you are out longer than 6 months you are terminated from the organization and lose all benefits including insurance. I wonder if they realize that cancer doesn't always fit into a neat little 6 month package.

I am seeing that each treatment is getting a little harder to bounce back from and I wonder how I will have the strength to work full time through all that lies ahead. And I start to worry about tomorrow, a disobedient behavior I am continually guilty of. Perhaps I should write sentences.
I will not... I will not...... I will not.....

But, my God is a God of grace and love and forgiveness. His word is full of encouragement and hope even in the midst of our trials. Instead of writing "I will not... ", I think I will start writing "I WILL... using the promises He has given to me.

"I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28-30)
"I will direct your steps." (Proverbs 3:5-6)
"I will supply all of your needs." (Philippians 4:19)
"I will make all things possible." (Luke 18:27)
"I will cast all of my cares on Him." (1Peter 5:7)
"I will do all things through Christ who gives me strength." (Phil 4:13)

I think that should be enough to help change my negative thinking into positive thinking today. And I know that my Father has a big book full of sentences to fit any trial I face today and tomorrow and 6 months from now.

Great Is Thy Faithfulness!!