Someone With "Skin On"

When my daughter Holly was a little girl, she was very afraid of the dark. When she went to sleep at night she didn't just want a night light, she wanted a lamp with a 100 watt light bulb.

One night, when Holly was about 4 years old, we had finished dinner and were all cleaning up the kitchen. Eric was clearing the table, I was washing dishes and Holly had her little cloth trying to help, like her big brother. It had gotten late and it was a school night for Eric, so I was anxious to get the job finished. When I got ready to sweep the floor, I remembered that the broom was outside in the far corner of the back porch.

I turned to Holly, who was so anxious to be part of the cleaning, and asked her if she would go outside and get the broom. She walked over to the door, opened it just a crack and peeked outside into the dark. She then closed it back, and went back to cleaning with her little cloth. After a minute or two, I said again, "Holly would you go outside and get the broom for Mommy?" She again opened the door, peeked out for a moment, closed it back and went back to her cloth.

This time I noticed, and said, "Holly, mommy asked you to go get the broom. Why do you keep opening and closing the door?" Her little face was creased with worry and she said, "Mommy, I can't go out there. It's too dark and the broom is too far away." I knelt down in front of her and said, "Holly, you can do it. You don't have to be afraid because God will go out there with you. He will be right there beside you."

I gave her a hug and watched as she went back to the door. This time she opened it a bit further and looked out for quite a long time. Finally, after what seemed like an hour, she closed it back and ran into my arms and said, "Oh, mommy I know God will go out there with me but I need somebody with SKIN ON!"

Oftentimes, we open a door in our lives and we are faced with having to go out into darkness. The broom that we need to get to, seems so far away. Even though we know that God is there, it seems too scary. And we become as a little 4 year old again, wishing we could just reach out and touch Him.

Life's journeys are not always easy. And faith is not always easy. God is not disappointed in us when our faith wobbles. Even Thomas, after hearing of Jesus' resurrection from the dead, would not believe it unless he was able to put his fingers into Jesus' hands and side. But Jesus didn't shun him or tell him to leave. He gently reminded him to "stop doubting and believe". And He quietly waited until Thomas understood and said "My Lord and my God!" and once again believed.

When we are afraid to open the door. When we can't see the broom because it is too dark, we are not alone. We might not be able to feel His skin, and we might wobble, but we are NEVER alone. His light will light our way. "Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me. Even the darkness will not be dark to you; the night will shine like day; for darkness is as light to you." (Psalms 139:11-12).

And His light will be our "someone with skin on."

10 Down!

Ten treatments down!!

I started out the morning having a great devotional and prayer time at 5:45 am with my dear friend. What a blessing God gives us in fellow believers whom we can share our Christian journey with! And there is no better way to start a day than to have prayer with a friend.

I went back home until radiation at 10am. After the treatment, I met with the radiation oncologist. She explained that I would have 28 full radiation treatments in which all 4 areas of the chest, neck and underarm are radiated. Then there would be 5-7 radiation "boosts" which are zaps of radiation to just the tumor area. For a total of 33-35 treatments. So I'm almost 1/3 done!

We enjoyed a nice lunch afterwards with Eric and one of his good friends. He was on duty so he didn't have a real long time but it was such a treat to get to spend time with him. As he left, I watched him pull away in his uniform and I prayed and asked Psalms 91:11 for him; "For He will command His angels concerning you, to guard you in all of your ways; they will lift you up in their hands so that you will not strike your foot against a stone."

Carl and I spent a quiet evening at home together. And now, I will close this day just as I opened it. In prayer and devotion to the one who is worthy of all praise! "O LORD, you are my God; I will exalt you and praise your name, for in perfect faithfulness you have done marvelous things." (Isaiah 25:1)

My Quilt

For some reason, when I went in for radiation today the building was freezing. I changed into the gown and totally wrapped myself up in my quilt. The only thing showing as I walked out to the waiting area was my head and my feet. The rest was colorful quilt. As I sat waiting for my name to be called, I started reading the many scripture verses and words of encouragement, written with love, in each of the squares. Though I have read these words many, many times, I never tire of reading them again. I stroked the softness of the quilt's fleece against my cheeks. I marveled once again at the thought and planning that went into the preparation of the how the squares would fit together. I thought about the sacrifice of the one who put it all together with love.

Soon my name was called and I went into the room and got onto the radiation table. As she does each day, Sadira gently lays the quilt over me before the treatment starts. I was still thinking about the quilt as the huge machine rotated around to provide a clear view of the cross overhead.

And in that moment, in my mind's eye, the cross and the quilt blended perfectly together, painting a vivid picture of God's wonderful love.

Like the quilt, God's love surrounds me with comfort and warmth when life's circumstances seem rough and cold . "May your unfailing love be my comfort, according to your promise to your servant." (Psalms 119:76).

God's word, like the many squares in my quilt, provides me with love and encouragement when I am weak and weary. "My soul is weary with sorrow; strengthen me according to your word." (Psalms 119:28). "You are my refuge and my shield; I have put my hope in your word." (Psalms 119:114).

Like the squares thoughtfully pieced together in my quilt, God has carefully and purposefully planned and arranged every step and detail of my life. "But the plans of the LORD stand firm forever, the purposes of his heart through all generations." (Psalms 33:11) "Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." (Proverbs 19:21). "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11)

And, like the sacrifice of the one who handmade my quilt, how much more God has sacrificed to show His love for me. For He gave His all for me, His own son, so that I could have a personal relationship with Him that would last forever. "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16) "And by that will, we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all." (Hebrews 10:10)

Before I knew it, the radiation treatment was done. I had enjoyed 20 minutes of quiet time reflecting on God's love. As I prepared to leave, I once again wrapped myself up in my quilt. As I walked out, it seemed as though the colors of my quilt were brighter than when I went in. They appeared more vivid. It almost felt like it was aglow. Could it be that a few moments of quiet time spent in the presence of the Lord, makes our lives seem that much brighter? I do believe so!