The Purpose Of The Desert

I woke up this morning, feeling the same way I went to bed. Panicked. Wednesday, is usually a good day for me. I love going to bible study. I love the children's choir and I love adult choir. But today, I wanted to crawl back into bed and sleep until the dream was over. My heart wasn't into any of it. I kept reading the report from the day before over and over again. Before I left for bible study, I checked my work e-mail as I always do in the mornings. I receive a daily devotional by Os Hilman called TGIF (Today God is First). It is a devotional designed for workplace believers but really applies to all areas of our lives. On the mornings I work, I always go into the hospital early, find a quiet computer somewhere, read my devotional and pray. Then I am ready to start my day. Most days I find the devotional relevant to my daily situation and some days it doesn't speak to me as well as others. But this day was different than any other I had ever experienced! I have posted it below.


The Purpose of the Desert
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1 by Os Hillman
Wednesday, January 07 2009

Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her. - Hosea 2:14
If you have an important message to convey to someone, what is the best means of getting the message through? Have you ever tried to talk with someone who was so busy you could not get him to hear you? Distractions prevent us from giving our undivided attention to the messenger. So too, God has His way of taking us aside to get our undivided attention. For Paul, it was Arabia for three years; for Moses, it was 40 years in the desert; for Joseph, it was 13 years in Egypt; for David, it was many years of fleeing from King Saul.
God knows the stubborn human heart. He knows that if He is to accomplish His deepest work, He must take us into the desert in order to give us the privilege to be used in His Kingdom. In the desert God changes us and removes things that hinder us. He forces us to draw deep upon His grace. The desert is only a season in our life. When He has accomplished what He wants in our lives in the desert, He will bring us out. He has given us a mission to fulfill that can only be fulfilled after we have spent adequate time in preparation in the desert. Fear not the desert, for it is here you will hear God's voice like never before. It is here you become His bride. It is here you will have the idols of your life removed. It is here you begin to experience the reality of a living God like never before. Someone once said, "God uses enlarged trials to produce enlarged saints so He can put them in enlarged places!"
He brought me out into a spacious place; He rescued me because He delighted in me (2 Samuel 22:20).

As I was reading this I felt as though God Himself was standing beside me speaking. My first thought was "Oh no. This really is true. God couldn't get my attention because I was so busy with the "things of the world" that he is going to lead me into the desert and it would be called Cancer. But as I read it over and over each word told me of His plan for my life. He wants to accomplish a deep work in me. He will take me into the desert. He will change me. He will remove things in my life that are more important than Him. He will tame my stubborn heart. But I need not be afraid. It is only for a season and during this season I will hear His voice like I have never heard it before! I will journey through this desert with a real, living God!
I am no longer panic stricken. I have a peace that I didn't have an hour ago. I know that the Living God has spoken to me and I need to tell anyone who will listen!!

I went to church and was able to share with Pastor Steve how God had spoken to me. We had prayer. I went to bible study and was enlightened by the lesson. I went to children’s choir and had a wonderful time with the children. I enjoyed adult choir and singing and praying with our choir family.
The very things that I had dreaded doing this morning were the things that gave me the most pleasure at the end of the day. Oh how often we see these as obligations; prayer, devotionals, study of the Word, children, choir practice. When they are in reality God’s way of making our life more abundant .

A Call To Worship

Last night. I made a mistake. I started digging through my mom's medical records to see exactly what kind of breast cancer she had. Then I read my records very closely and started researching "Triple negative breast cancer". By the time I was finished I was not only exhausted physically but mentally as well.
Of course when I woke up the heaviness from the night before was still there. I tried to start my morning talk with God but kept being distracted. After an hour or so of walking around in a "funk" I opened my devotional e-mail. It spoke volumes to me and so I post it below.

A Call To Worship
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1 by Os Hillman
Friday, January 30 2009

...but they did not listen to him because of their discouragement and cruel bondage. - Exodus 6:9
It is very difficult to lead when those you are leading believe they have been mistreated and have lost all hope. Such was the case when God called Moses to bring the people of Israel out of Egypt. They had lived under many years of oppression and slavery. Yet God heard their cry. He sent someone to bring them out of slavery "so that they might worship God" (see Ex. 8:1). Interesting that God didn't say, "to serve Him." Above all else, God desires our worship. A person cannot enter into true worship of God while still in slavery and bondage.
In Proverbs, the writer tells us "hope deferred makes the heart sick" (Prov. 13:12a). There is a place in life where life becomes so discouraging and hopeless that we lose all hope, and it can actually make us sick. I have been at this place; it is a scary condition. It brings you to the edge of despair.
The people would not listen to Moses. Yet God did not deliver immediately. In fact, it would be many plagues later before ultimate deliverance would take place. Why does God withhold deliverance at times? It is in order to bring greater glory from the situation. It isn't because He doesn't care. It is because His plan for mankind is resting in these events. It is a finely tuned plan that involves many people and situations - all operating at the same time. It can seem cruel at times. But God knows that His children cannot worship Him if they are in bondage and lose all hope. He won't allow us to be tempted beyond what we can bear, so He has a plan of deliverance for each of us. This plan is not always the kind of deliverance we might think is best. It sometimes has pain surrounding the deliverance. When a mother gives birth, that child is delivered into this world through much pain. But with that pain comes great joy on the other side. Every mother will say the pain was worth it because of the exceeding joy that child brought in the midst of the pain.
What are you in bondage to today? What keeps you from entering true worship? Today, ask God to show you the areas of bondage that you are living in so that you may worship Him.

God showed me that this researching, reading and trying to figure things out on my own was keeping me in bondage. It was keeping me from truly worshipping Him. I immediately asked for forgiveness and thanked Him for His never ending patience with me. The rest of the day was great. I worked on gifts for all the girls having babies at work. Carl and I went out to Sea World and walked around and looked at all the beautiful flowers. (How do the theme parks get their flowers to always look like spring, when ours are a perfect picture of winter in Florida, wilted and brown?) Just another question I have :) After Sea World we enjoyed a nice dinner together and came home and fell asleep in our chairs. Are we getting old? I don't know, but I do know I wouldn't choose any other man to grow old together with.

How to Start the Day

Well, I've figured out that if you don't start out your day with prayer, it's not going to be very good until you do have prayer. When I got up I saw Robin Roberts on Good Morning America. I was really inspired by her because I know that she had breast cancer and went through chemo and beat it. So I looked up her story on the computer to see what kind of breast cancer she had. When I read that she had a lump and they got it all and it had not spread, my bubble burst. I think it was Satan's way of trying to get a head start on my day. So I had prayer and things started looking up.
It's funny how even perfectly normal days can be a blessing if you talk to God at the start. I mean I had my teeth cleaned and it was really fun! I had a new hygienist named Kristen who was awesome. Not only did she not tear up my mouth, but we played family feud and talked during the whole cleaning. Well, she obviously did more talking than I did.
Then I sent a text message to Eric to try and meet up with him and Katie for lunch. Well, I can't get the hang of this texting thing so I sent him a text saying "I am in Wap Mart" (I meant Wal Mart) Well he texted me back and said "Katie's mom is in Wap Mart too") Then I sent a text and said "How about we eat at Cholo's?" (I meant Chili's") He texted back and said "What is that some Mexican restaurant or something?" His big fingers type 10 times faster than my skinny ones. How does that work?
During lunch I told Eric that I needed an expert at shaving heads when the time came. Since he has been shaving his head for years I thought he would be the perfect one to do it. He said he would be glad to. I know that having that done will be one of the most difficult things I will have to do. But I also know that Eric will make it not so bad.
When I got home, my friend Ann had sent me an e-mail saying that she had a strong urge to pray for me during the day and she did just that. I truly felt that her prayers helped me to fight off a nagging feeling of trying to get down. (Satan still trying to get in)
Later in the day Jayda came over and I hemmed her pants up about 7". I guess she has some of my genes. We all had Chic Filet for supper and it was a perfect way to end the day.
And at the close of this day, I will pray and give Him thanks for all that He does to bless and sustain me.