"ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING!" My father's words
echoed over and over again in my head. As a small
child I didn't understand the words. As a teenager I
refused to understand the words. Now as a grown
woman I do understand the words.
For the last 10 days I have had an "attitude" towards
buying a wig. I was mad because my insurance
wouldn't pay anything. Every place I went into, I
found some reason that I didn't like the way I was
treated. I thought the people were insensitive. I
thought they were uncaring. I found fault with
everything they said. But with my father's words
speaking loudly to my conscience, I realized it wasn't
them at all, but me. I didn't want to face the fact that
I would have to lose my hair and wear a wig and so it
became everyone else's fault.
After a prayer for forgiveness last night and an "attitude"
adjustment, I started out this morning ready to find a wig. Trouble was,
now that I had wasted the last 10 days and my hair
would likely start coming out in the next couple of
days, I was in a time crunch. (We do reap the
consequences of our misbehavior even as adults).
Carl and I went to three different places. We got a
consultation at Eden Spa and tried on wigs and
scarves and hats. Then we went to the American
Cancer Society. What a nice experience that was. The
lady that helped us was a breast cancer survivor who
had been through chemo and radiation and 8
surgeries. She could definitely relate. She also had a
son serving in the armed forces in Iraq. As I was
talking to her, I looked over onto a table and there lay
a book. It was called "Laughing through the tears of
Breast Cancer" and it was written by Carla Chesser. I
said to the lady, "I know the lady who wrote that
book. Actually I have never met her but feel as
though I know her well as I have had many
conversations with her on the phone. She is a friend of
my friend, Nadine". What a coincidence that her book
was right there. Cindy ( the lady working for the
Cancer society) handed me the book and said here it's
yours. Read it and enjoy. She also gave me a t-shirt
that said "I'm a survivor" on it. I asked her if I
qualified as a survivor yet since I just started. She
said "You are a survivor the day after you are
diagnosed". I was so encouraged to hear that. I am a
survivor! Because each day I wake up is another day
that I have overcome cancer! We left there with
smiles on our faces rather than frowns as in the week
before. (Attitude)
Then I went to the same wig shop near my house that
I "didn't like" last week. But today was so different.
Sarah the owner was so helpful and when I was
finished I had ordered a wig and come out with a
smile. (Attitude)
I came home and tried on the scarves and hat we had
gotten and didn't cry. (Attitude)
Some will call it "conscience". I call it conviction by the
Holy Spirit but no matter what it is called, we are
never to old to learn that our attitude can make a
world of difference in the way we view and react to
situations. I'm thankful for my earthly father's words
and my heavenly Father's convictions that
"ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING!"
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
A Song In My Heart
The warm sun, the cloudless blue skies and the gentle breeze gave me a little glimpse of heaven today. After many days of Florida cold (60's :) I was glad for the warm change.
Baby Cooper is home from the hospital but still very jaundiced. He stays under a phototherapy light and only comes out for feedings. I went over to see him today and got to sit outside and hold him for an hour while he soaked up the rays of the sun, a natural type of phototherapy. For me it was another glimpse of heaven. I sat and visited with Eric and Katie as I held Cooper and silently thanked God for what they mean to me.
As I drove home I played my ipod on the car radio and had a real worship service through the music. Anyone driving next to me must have thought I was "high" as I sang and lifted my hand towards heaven. I guess I was "high" for there is no other feeling like that.
Funny sometimes how just the little things can enter in to "rain on your parade". I stopped by another wig shop to get an idea. The girl was nice but I think a place like that needs to go way beyond "nice" and try to be sensitive. I know I'm not the only chemo patient who walks into a wig shop with fear, sadness and trepidation. When I asked about the wigs she said. "I have them but I have a 7 year old leukemia patient with a bigger head than you and I would definitely have to have it custom made. " I asked how long it would take and she said "your hair will probably start coming out in a week so I need to get started right away." My bubble, that was so full an hour ago, just burst. I left and drove home but wasn't singing this time.
But again, God puts someone in your path to bring you up. My good friend Nadine called and I went outside and sat in the swing, soaking up more of the beautiful sun, and talked to her. By the time I finished I felt much better. I'm thankful for her friendship
When Carl finished teaching we went to dinner with Laurie, Pat and Deloris and then went to choir. Though I battled waves of nausea throuh choir, it was good to sing. I paid special attention to the words as we sang to bring my focus off of me and back to HIM and went home once again with a song in my heart.
Baby Cooper is home from the hospital but still very jaundiced. He stays under a phototherapy light and only comes out for feedings. I went over to see him today and got to sit outside and hold him for an hour while he soaked up the rays of the sun, a natural type of phototherapy. For me it was another glimpse of heaven. I sat and visited with Eric and Katie as I held Cooper and silently thanked God for what they mean to me.
As I drove home I played my ipod on the car radio and had a real worship service through the music. Anyone driving next to me must have thought I was "high" as I sang and lifted my hand towards heaven. I guess I was "high" for there is no other feeling like that.
Funny sometimes how just the little things can enter in to "rain on your parade". I stopped by another wig shop to get an idea. The girl was nice but I think a place like that needs to go way beyond "nice" and try to be sensitive. I know I'm not the only chemo patient who walks into a wig shop with fear, sadness and trepidation. When I asked about the wigs she said. "I have them but I have a 7 year old leukemia patient with a bigger head than you and I would definitely have to have it custom made. " I asked how long it would take and she said "your hair will probably start coming out in a week so I need to get started right away." My bubble, that was so full an hour ago, just burst. I left and drove home but wasn't singing this time.
But again, God puts someone in your path to bring you up. My good friend Nadine called and I went outside and sat in the swing, soaking up more of the beautiful sun, and talked to her. By the time I finished I felt much better. I'm thankful for her friendship
When Carl finished teaching we went to dinner with Laurie, Pat and Deloris and then went to choir. Though I battled waves of nausea throuh choir, it was good to sing. I paid special attention to the words as we sang to bring my focus off of me and back to HIM and went home once again with a song in my heart.
Monday, February 9, 2009
Sowing In Tears
It is early as I write this morning. The house is quiet. The sun has yet to rise for this new day. I had a disturbing dream last night that I had gone to a C-section delivery. The mom was asleep and I did all I was to do for the baby but I forgot to footprint and band him. I wandered aimlessly around the hospital trying to figure out which of the many moms this baby could possibly belong to. Could this dream have come about from the turmoil of yesterday? I sat in my chair and thought about the hurt and tears of my day yesterday. I quietly asked God to remind me of His new mercies this morning.
Then I checked my e-mail. This is the first thing that popped onto the screen!
Sowing In Tears
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1 by Os Hillman
Monday, February 09 2009
"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy." - Psalm 126:5
Psalm 126 describes an interesting process that goes against our natural tendencies when we are taken into a difficult period in our lives. Whenever we are hurled into a crisis that brings tears, our tendency is to retreat or recoil in fear and hurt. However, there is a better way that God tells us to handle such times of travail.
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. "He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him" (Ps. 126:5-6). God is telling us that if we will do what is unnatural for us in these circumstances, He will make sure that what we sow in tears will return in joy. This is one of the most important lessons I have learned when faced with difficult circumstances. Rather than sit back and allow self-pity and discouragement to consume us, we should plant seed during this time. Reach out to a person who needs a friend. Invest in the life of another. See where you can be a blessing to someone. Give of yourself.
The psalmist acknowledges that we are doing this while we are in our pain. However, during this time we are to sow seed. That seed will return to us in another form. Here is what will happen when we do this. "He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him." We will receive joy and fruit from the seed that we plant during this time. Sheaves represent the fruit of a harvest. We will actually get a harvest from this seed.
"You must not let the circumstances destroy you! Too many in the Kingdom are counting on you to come through this because of the calling on your life!" Those were the words spoken to me by a friend one time when personal circumstance was threatening to destroy me emotionally. This person saw what God was doing and the fruit that God wanted to bring from these circumstances. Sometimes we need others around us to push us through the difficult times. If you find yourself in a difficult place today, see where you can sow some seed. Soon you will be reaping songs of joy.
On this new morning I cry tears of joy, for my God knows and understands my hurts. And He will always be faithful to speak to me if I will just turn my eyes towards Him.
Great is Thy Faithfulness!!
Then I checked my e-mail. This is the first thing that popped onto the screen!
Sowing In Tears
TGIF Today God Is First Volume 1 by Os Hillman
Monday, February 09 2009
"Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy." - Psalm 126:5
Psalm 126 describes an interesting process that goes against our natural tendencies when we are taken into a difficult period in our lives. Whenever we are hurled into a crisis that brings tears, our tendency is to retreat or recoil in fear and hurt. However, there is a better way that God tells us to handle such times of travail.
Those who sow in tears will reap with songs of joy. "He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him" (Ps. 126:5-6). God is telling us that if we will do what is unnatural for us in these circumstances, He will make sure that what we sow in tears will return in joy. This is one of the most important lessons I have learned when faced with difficult circumstances. Rather than sit back and allow self-pity and discouragement to consume us, we should plant seed during this time. Reach out to a person who needs a friend. Invest in the life of another. See where you can be a blessing to someone. Give of yourself.
The psalmist acknowledges that we are doing this while we are in our pain. However, during this time we are to sow seed. That seed will return to us in another form. Here is what will happen when we do this. "He who goes out weeping, carrying seed to sow, will return with songs of joy, carrying sheaves with him." We will receive joy and fruit from the seed that we plant during this time. Sheaves represent the fruit of a harvest. We will actually get a harvest from this seed.
"You must not let the circumstances destroy you! Too many in the Kingdom are counting on you to come through this because of the calling on your life!" Those were the words spoken to me by a friend one time when personal circumstance was threatening to destroy me emotionally. This person saw what God was doing and the fruit that God wanted to bring from these circumstances. Sometimes we need others around us to push us through the difficult times. If you find yourself in a difficult place today, see where you can sow some seed. Soon you will be reaping songs of joy.
On this new morning I cry tears of joy, for my God knows and understands my hurts. And He will always be faithful to speak to me if I will just turn my eyes towards Him.
Great is Thy Faithfulness!!
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