Our American Soldier

This morning I awoke to the sound of little voices. We got to North Carolina late last night after a long 12 hour drive. We shared a hotel room with Holly and the boys and fell into bed. I awoke to see Wyatt standing in the Pack and Play with a sweet smile and a little hand waving good morning. Every day should start that way. I have been anticipating this day for last 7 months since Brent left. How would he look? How would he act? Would he be distant like he was when he came back from Boot Camp? All of the questions ran through my head and the minutes of the morning seemed like hours until we could go to the Base and wait for the buses. We made "Welcome Home" signs to wave when we saw the buses. We bundled up the babies and ourselves as the high was only to be 48 degrees. I suppose it seems selfish to admit, but I had been asking God to let me keep my hair until Brent came home.Today was day 14 since starting chemo and the hair loss is supposed to start on day 10-14. I didn't know what Brent had been thinking over in Iraq since hearing about my diagnosis but I didn't want him to step off of the bus and see me with no hair. It was important to me for him to see that I looked and felt well. As we headed off to the base, I silently thanked God for the full head of hair I had today.
The fences along the road leading to the base were lined with large banners welcoming home the Marines of Weapons Company 1/2. The streets were lined with anxious families all waiting to see their Marine. News reporters were there from all the TV stations. Wives with tiny babies in their arms waiting to meet their Daddy for the first time. Grandparents with canes and silver hair sitting in chairs waiting for their grandchild. Cars decorated with Welcome Home graffiti. I remembered, as if it were yesterday, the heavy sadness I felt as the buses pulled onto the base ready to pick up our Marine children who would leave for 7 months. Many of these young boys had never even been out of their hometown and now would be leaving for a country far away that they knew nothing about.
But today the emotions were high. As the buses rounded the corner, Toby Keith was singing "An American Soldier". As they got closer cheers and applause rang out from the crowd and Lee Greenwood began singing "I'm proud to be an American". The Marines got off of the buses and stood at Full attention for at least 5 minutes. I commented at how disciplined they were because we knew that it was the desire of every Marine in that formation line to run to their waiting family members . But they are first and foremost Marines. Finally, they were released. Tears of joy, hugs and kisses was the universal language here. Brent looked wonderful. He was thinner than when he left but he was smiling and happy. A news reporter came up to Brent with a microphone and asked Brent what he was feeling right now. He said "America is the best country in the world and I'm glad to be home".
We asked him what his first choice of food was and he chose a steak at Texas Roadhouse. Carl asked him what time zone he was on and Brent said he hadn't slept in so long he had no idea. But as soon as he finished dinner he was exhausted. He went home to enjoy a full night's sleep in a bed, in a house, in a country that was free.
I was so thankful for the blessings of the day. God had surrounded Brent with His angels as I had prayed each and every day while he was gone.We went back to the hotel room tired but happy. As I lay on the bed I began to play with little Logan. I whispered a short prayer for God to Bless this child as he grows and keep him in his care. Logan then looked straight into my eyes with his big brown eyes and reached up for my hair. When I looked down he had large handful of my hair in his tiny hand. I cried. Yes, I cried because I knew that God had granted my wish for hair for this day. I cried also because God knew that if I had to see large clumps of hair come out, it would be easier in the hands of my baby grandson.
God didn't promise that each day on our journey would be easy. What He did promise was to fill the difficult days with His love, His peace and, yes, His joy. The pride and joy that I felt watching my son step off of that bus today came only from God. The peace that I felt knowing he was home safe came only from God.
Thank you Brent for your service to America!
Thank you Lord for your faithful promises !

To Take Your Mind Off Of Yourself

There is nothing better to take your mind off of yourself than to take care of others. I woke up this morning excited about my first day back at work since my diagnosis and surgery. I gently washed my hair praying that this would not be the morning it would start falling out. Once I realized I wouldn't have to go in with bald spots, I couldn't wait to get there. It was wonderful to see all my friends at work and even more wonderful to take care of my babies again. As adults we whine and complain about our colds and sore throats and achy bones while these tiny babies quietly and innocently fight for their lives. For 6 hours I forgot about everything but how blessed I was to have a profession that I love just as much now as I did 18 years ago. I went in to see little Addie. Looks like she will go home for Valentine's day just like Mom and Dad had hoped for. What a fulfilling feeling to know I had a part in her little life.
When I left after six hours I was exhausted (I used to do 12hrs. ?) but it was an exhaustion that left me feeling exhilarated mentally.
I went home to rest but before falling asleep, I whispered a prayer of thanks for the abundant life that He gives to me.

Attitude Is Everything

"ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING!" My father's words
echoed over and over again in my head. As a small
child I didn't understand the words. As a teenager I
refused to understand the words. Now as a grown
woman I do understand the words.
For the last 10 days I have had an "attitude" towards
buying a wig. I was mad because my insurance
wouldn't pay anything. Every place I went into, I
found some reason that I didn't like the way I was
treated. I thought the people were insensitive. I
thought they were uncaring. I found fault with
everything they said. But with my father's words
speaking loudly to my conscience, I realized it wasn't
them at all, but me. I didn't want to face the fact that
I would have to lose my hair and wear a wig and so it
became everyone else's fault.
After a prayer for forgiveness last night and an "attitude"
adjustment, I started out this morning ready to find a wig. Trouble was,
now that I had wasted the last 10 days and my hair
would likely start coming out in the next couple of
days, I was in a time crunch. (We do reap the
consequences of our misbehavior even as adults).
Carl and I went to three different places. We got a
consultation at Eden Spa and tried on wigs and
scarves and hats. Then we went to the American
Cancer Society. What a nice experience that was. The
lady that helped us was a breast cancer survivor who
had been through chemo and radiation and 8
surgeries. She could definitely relate. She also had a
son serving in the armed forces in Iraq. As I was
talking to her, I looked over onto a table and there lay
a book. It was called "Laughing through the tears of
Breast Cancer" and it was written by Carla Chesser. I
said to the lady, "I know the lady who wrote that
book. Actually I have never met her but feel as
though I know her well as I have had many
conversations with her on the phone. She is a friend of
my friend, Nadine". What a coincidence that her book
was right there. Cindy ( the lady working for the
Cancer society) handed me the book and said here it's
yours. Read it and enjoy. She also gave me a t-shirt
that said "I'm a survivor" on it. I asked her if I
qualified as a survivor yet since I just started. She
said "You are a survivor the day after you are
diagnosed". I was so encouraged to hear that. I am a
survivor! Because each day I wake up is another day
that I have overcome cancer! We left there with
smiles on our faces rather than frowns as in the week
before. (Attitude)
Then I went to the same wig shop near my house that
I "didn't like" last week. But today was so different.
Sarah the owner was so helpful and when I was
finished I had ordered a wig and come out with a
smile. (Attitude)
I came home and tried on the scarves and hat we had
gotten and didn't cry. (Attitude)
Some will call it "conscience". I call it conviction by the
Holy Spirit but no matter what it is called, we are
never to old to learn that our attitude can make a
world of difference in the way we view and react to
situations. I'm thankful for my earthly father's words
and my heavenly Father's convictions that

"ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING!"