Power in Weakness

"My Little Princess"

Yesterday, I woke up feeling really good and was excited about going to church after being gone for the last two weeks. It was so good to be back. Carl and I got to play a piano and organ duet of "The Battle Hymn of the Republic" and except for some nerves it was neat to be able to play with him. The scripture reading the pastor had chosen was II Corinthians 12:2-10. As I was reading the scripture, I came to verse 9 "And he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." While reading that verse, I was so moved by the Holy Spirit, I had to pause for a moment before I could go on. I have always liked that scripture, but I didn't know why, this time, I was so gripped emotionally by it. Until much later. Throughout the rest of the service, that verse echoed over and over in my mind. During lunch and the ride home, the verse kept repeating itself.

I really didn't do a good job of energy management, because by the time I got home, ironed a uniform and got ready for work, my energy and strength were used up. As I walked from the parking garage into the hospital, that verse came to mind once again.

But, this time, I realized why God had used that verse to speak to me today. I was weak. He knew I would be weak as I prepared to go back to work full-time. So He told me over and over again, that His strength would be perfect in my weakness. His grace would be enough for all my needs. Now I understood! How perfect is His timing, that this verse would be the one chosen for worship today. How perfect that He would remind me, not once, not twice, but over and over again, that He would supply all of my needs.

I worked Sunday. And I worked today. And God's promise, as always, was true. His strength was perfect. I had enough strength and energy to do the very thing that I love to do. Taking care of very tiny, sick babies.

And to top it off, God blessed me with a special surprise today! I had a surprise visit from a family whose baby I had been a primary nurse for in the NICU. I call her "my little princess". She was born at a little over a pound and is now a 9 1/2 pound, healthy, beautiful baby girl. As I held her in my arms today, she smiled at me and my heart overflowed with thankfulness. And at that very moment, I heard the words to that verse once again. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."

FREEDOM

We enjoyed a special day today. It got off to a rough start, though, with me getting sick in Target. I'm not sure why all of a sudden the last 2 weeks have been so rough as far as getting sick. Perhaps a build up of the chemo in my system. But I do know, nothing clears out a public restroom faster than a person sick from chemo. Hmmm. Maybe I'll try that the next time the line in the ladies room is forever long :)

We went to Eric and Katie's in the afternoon to celebrate this special holiday with family. Independence Day. In America, it is a day when we celebrate the birth of our country and give thanks for our freedoms. I saw a bumper sticker once that said "Freedom isn't free." How true that is. Someone had to pay the price for our freedom. On this holiday, we pause to remember those who have given their lives for the freedoms we enjoy. We also say thanks to those who are putting their lives on the line by serving our country now.

But, I also celebrate another freedom. This day and every day. One that is more important to me than any other freedom I enjoy. That is my freedom in Christ. This freedom isn't free either. It came with a price. God could not have a relationship with us when we were filled with sin and bound to the laws. But, Jesus gave his life so we could be free from the bondage of laws and sin and death. "Because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death." (Romans 8:2 NIV)
Because I am free, I can enjoy a personal relationship with him that enables me to get through the trials of this life. And that freedom promises me, that when this life is over, I will spend eternity with Him!

As an American I say "thank you" to all those men and women who have given of themselves to make this great country free.

As a christian I say "thank you" to my Lord for giving His life so that I can walk hand in hand with Him on this journey.

The Little Things and the Big Things

I picked up my lung CT scan results today. It was just a follow-up from the pneumonia I had. Nothing really to do with the cancer. In the grand scheme of things, this would be called a "little thing". The CT results were good. Some residual scarring but no nodules or masses suggestive of metastasis.

As I was walking out of the hospital, I whispered a prayer of thanks and began to think about the "little things" and the "big things" in our life.

I remember in the first grade, being taught about big things and little things. The teacher had a 2 sided weight scale. She would put a big item on one side of the scale and a small item on the other side. She would teach us that the "big thing" weighed more than the "little thing" and it would pull down that side of the scale. Then, we went out to the playground where she would have a big boy sit on one side of the see saw and a little girl (usually me) sit on the other side. As I was left hanging in the air, the teacher made her point. The "big things" weigh down the "little things".

Sometimes I get so focused on the "big things" in my life, the cancer, the treatments, the side effects, tests, etc, that I fail to see the "little things" that God has given me to enjoy.

The first ripe red tomato on our tomato plant. A phone call from Brent, a hug from Eric, talking to little Wyatt on the phone. The smell of baby Cooper on my shirt after he's gone. Friends to eat dinner with. Friends who bring you dinner when you are too sick to go out. Carl, changing the oil, fixing the faucet and all the other little repairs needed. A gentle rain to cool down a hot afternoon and moisten a dry, parched ground. The beautiful butterfly sitting atop the pink hibiscus flower. The sweet fragrance of jasmine as I sit and swing with my grandbabies on my lap. Just thinking of these "little things" makes me feel as though I'm suspended in air.

When I allow myself to think only of the "big thing" I feel weighted down.
But God tells us to give the "big things" to Him and He will take them. He wants us to take all of the "little things" He has given to us and enjoy them abundantly. He'll carry the heavy stuff.

"Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:29-30)

And today, I am happy to be suspended in air on the see saw. Because I know God is on the other side holding down the "big things" while I sit high and enjoy the all "little things" He has given to me.