And Behind Door Number ????

I went in for radiation #4 this morning. I walked in and scanned my computer card and headed back to the changing room. Inside the room were rows and rows of metal lockers like you would see in a high school locker room. Each locker had a key in the door. As I stood in front of the row of lockers, deciding which one to pick, I was struck by the many choices in front of me. Each locker had a number on it. Some were half lockers on top, some were half lockers on the bottom and some were full sized lockers, top to bottom. I was reminded of an old game show on TV when I was a child called the "Price is Right." Now days, the show similar to that is called "Deal or No Deal". The concepts are the same. The contestant chooses a door, or suitcase, hoping it will bring him good fortune and make him a winner.

Looking at these lockers, made me feel like a contestant on the game show. The luck of the draw. Here are the doors in front of me. What lies behind each door? A fortune or a loss? Good luck or bad? One dollar or a million dollars?

I stood in front of the lockers so long, thinking about the game show, that I actually chose a locker with eager anticipation. I picked door #5. "A lucky number?", I asked myself. I really don't know what I was expecting to find behind the door, but I sure was excited. Needless to say,when I opened it, it was only an empty locker. I put my belongings in, locked it and headed down the hall for radiation.

Laying on the table, I once again became focused on the cross etched in the ceiling. I thought about life. What if we had the opportunity to pick random doors in our lives? We wouldn't know what was behind the door until we had chosen it. Behind one door was material wealth. One door, the loss of a loved one. One a lucrative career. One physical illness. One a wonderful family and one a wayward son.

I am so glad that my life isn't a set of random doors with everything left to chance. Nothing happens in my life that is by chance. God knows what is behind each and every door in my life. I will open some and they will hold blessings abound. Other doors in my life will hold trials. But NOT ONE door is left to chance! Scripture says that God knows the plans He has for us. "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." (Jeremiah 29:11). Each step is directed by Him. "A man's steps are directed by the Lord." (Proverbs 20:24).

If our lives were like game shows, I believe God would have us finish as winners. For no matter what door we open, no matter what's behind the door, He holds the key. He already knows how the game will end. Nothing has been left to chance. And that makes us automatic winners!

My Cross Is Too Heavy

I'm still trying to figure out how this chemo and radiation works on my body. Saturday I woke up really nauseous with no appetite. Carl, worked all day making wonderful food for a birthday party he had planned for me. The party was so much fun. We laughed and had wonderful fellowship with great friends from our choir. But I couldn't eat any of the food including the birthday cake. Sunday was just the opposite and I was starving all day.

Today, I feel the same as Saturday. Nauseous with no appetite and new sores in my mouth. (Where did those come from? Chemo is done.)
Carl moved a couple of students and we went down to the hospital for radiation together.

While waiting for my turn to go in, I saw a lady outside one of the radiation rooms obviously waiting for her turn also. She was a pretty lady, probably in her early thirties. She was laying on a stretcher. She had obviously been through chemo because she had only fuzz on her head. She was pale as a ghost. She had a washcloth and a bucket with her, indicating she had been sick. My heart just went out to her. She had a wedding ring on her hand. Where was her husband? Why was she alone? Was he home taking care of their young children?

And here I was with my loving husband at my side, not laying on a stretcher but able to walk in on my own. Just a few minutes earlier, I had felt sorry for myself for feeling nauseous. Now I felt guilty that I seemed to have it so good in comparison to this young woman. Tears filled my eyes and I closed them in prayer and lifted her up before the Lord.

Then my name was called and I went in for my radiation. While laying on the table, the big machine, which had been over my head, moved around and brought into clear view the cross etched into the ceiling. It had a red beam of light on each of the four tips of the cross. As I focused on it, I thought about the cross that Jesus asks each of us to bear. Then he said to them all: "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me. (Luke 9:23 )

A good friend shared this story with me this morning and I wanted to pass it on.

MY CROSS IS TOO HEAVY

A young man was at the end of his rope. Seeing no way out, he dropped to his knees in prayer."Lord, I can't go on," he said. "I have too heavy a cross to bear." The Lord replied, "My son, if you can't bear its weight, just place your cross inside this room. Then, open that other door and pick out any cross you wish."

The man was filled with relief and said, "Thank you Lord," and he did as he was told. Upon entering the other room, he saw many crosses; some so large the tops were not visible. Then, he spotted a tiny cross leaning against a far wall. "I'd like that one, Lord," he whispered.

The Lord replied, "My son, that is the very same cross you just brought in."

No matter how heavy my cross feels, there is always someone who's cross seems heavier. But, no matter how heavy it gets, God promises that He will lighten the load enough that we would not buckle under, if we just ask Him. "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." (Matthew 11:28-30).

Could we each take a moment today and lift up someone in prayer who's load seems too heavy for them to carry? Even if we don't have a specific person in mind, God knows who they are. He will be faithful to answer and He will lighten the burden of their cross.

Channel Markers

A few weeks ago, Carl and I were privileged to go out with our good friends, Steve and Lori on their boat. I absolutely love being out on the water. It was a beautiful day. We started out in Daytona and rode up to St. Augustine. We met another friend, enjoyed a great lunch together, walked around the old historic town for awhile and headed back home on the boat.

On the way back, Lori and I were sitting, talking in the back of the boat when all of a sudden there was a loud noise from the motor and the boat stopped almost on a dime. I had no idea what happened, but when Lori said "Uh-Oh", I figured it probably wasn't a good thing.

It seems that on the inter coastal waterway there are channel markers every so many feet. Staying inside the channel markers assures the boaters that the water will be deep enough for the boats to safely pass through. But this day the channel marker wasn't clearly visible. Another small boat was in front of us and Steve was following the small boat. And suddenly we were in shallow water and the prop got stuck in the dirt. The boat stopped. Fortunately for us, Steve got out into the water, cleaned off the dirt and maneuvered the prop enough to get us out of the dirt and back into deeper waters.

Each time I think about that incident on the boat, I am reminded of my life. God puts channel markers in my life to warn me when I am about to head into trouble. I am ashamed to say that many times, I have ignored the channel markers because I wanted my own way. Sometimes the markers were clearly visible and I just chose not to stay inside the deeper waters. Other times the markers weren't as visible because I had drifted to far away from God to see them well. Never the less, every time I went outside His markers, I got into trouble. But each time I got off course, God got out of the boat, cleaned off the dirt and got me headed back into deeper waters, where I was once again, safe.

No matter how many markers we fail to see. No matter how far we have drifted. No matter how much dirt we are buried in. He is always there to set us back on the right course. To lead us back to safe waters. God knows that we will continue to have times when we will drift outside of His channel markers. We are human. He knows we are not perfect. He takes no pleasure in seeing us stuck in the mud. That's why He gave us His son. He is a God of second chances and third chances. All He needs is a contrite heart and he will jump out of the boat, clean up our mess and set us back onto the right path.