When It Doesn't Matter Anymore

Sometimes the journey through our desert seems like it will never end.

When we lose a loved one, we think that after each of the firsts has passed (first Christmas, first birthday, first anniversary) the pain will ease and we will come out of the desert. But it doesn't. We walk through a desert of loss.

As a parent, when a son or daughter goes astray, we walk through a desert of guilt, afraid they may never come home.

When we are betrayed by someone we trusted, we walk through the desert of mistrust, afraid of being hurt again.

When we lose a job, we walk through a desert of insecurity, afraid our needs will not be met.

When we face cancer, we walk through a desert of "what if's".

And sometimes, on the journey, it seems like time stands still. If only we could run through and get to the other side sooner. Even the Psalmist David cried out. "My soul is in anguish. How long, O Lord, how long?" (Psalms 6:3) "Relent, O Lord! How long will it be? Have compassion on your servants." (Psalms 90:13)

Os Hilman said it so perfectly. A woman came to him in the midst of her desert and said, "How will I know when I'm coming out of the desert?". And he answered, "When it doesn't matter anymore. It does not mean we can't have a longing for better days, but there is a Godly contentment that allows us to remain in any condition with a peace that passes all understanding."

God allows each of us to walk through our deserts so that we may totally surrender to Him. All of our hurt, guilt, mistrust, insecurity and "what ifs". And when it "doesn't matter anymore", our journey will have accomplished His purpose.

The Proper Hugging Of A Baby

I absolutely delight in children and babies. I always have. I believe they are God's way of always keeping a smile on our faces.I knew from a very young age that I wanted to have a career that involved taking care of little ones. And God has blessed me richly with a rewarding job as a NICU nurse for many years. And actually, if we have jobs in heaven, I hope I get to have the very same job I have here on earth.

Being a NICU nurse, I often get questions from friends and relatives about their babies. I don't mind at all and am glad that I am able to answer, or find out the answer, to most of the questions. There is one question that I haven't been asked yet, but since I came across detailed instructions, I thought I would post it here on my blog, in case it ever came up.

HOW DO YOU PROPERLY HUG A BABY ?

First, Find a baby.

Second, be sure that the object you found was indeed a baby by employing classic sniffing techniques.


Next you will need to flatten the baby before actually beginning the hugging process.


Then, the "paw slide". Simply slide paws around baby and prepare for possible close-up.


Finally, if a camera is present, you will need to execute the difficult and patented "hug, smile, and lean" so as to achieve the best photo quality.

May the joy of the Lord be our strength!

Into His Arms

Yesterday I had my visit with my oncologist. He is such a kind, soft spoken doctor. Never making me feel rushed. Always giving me time to absorb what he is saying and waiting on any questions I might have. We had the conversation again about follow up tests after treatment is finished. He told me once again that current studies suggest to have scans or tests only once or twice a year because if it came back somewhere it would be a stage 4 and not curable. Then they would scan only if there were symptoms. He said some people like to have scans after treatment for peace of mind if there are no obvious tumors seen on a scan. But it doesn't stop the possibility of cancer cells floating around, not seen on the scan.

I have thought about this a lot and decided I'd rather have the scans when I'm finished just to see where I stand. If they all come back clean then I can know that there is not an immediate problem. I realize that cancer cells could still be floating around, but somehow clean scans will make the treatment process for the last 9 months seem worth while. Kind of a temporary reward.

I had to have labs drawn today and I was a bit nervous about that since they can't draw from the left arm because of the clot and can't put a tourniquet on the right because of the lymph node surgery. But this lady was the best. One stick, without a tourniquet, and she had the labs. Boy was I happy. Radiation went well with more new markings. This time with blue marker. Sadira said if I bring in the orange marker, they'll do the next ones in orange. Just in time for Gator football season to start!!

As I was driving back after radiation, the radio was on a station with one of the talk show hosts. He was talking about the passing of Ted Kennedy this morning. As I listened for a moment, it became quite evident that he didn't like the political icon. But regardless of his view, I was dumbfounded by one of his statements. The point he was making was that, when he dies some people won't like him either, and will have negative things to say about him. His exact words were, "When I die, if I end up meeting that "great celestial valet" ........and he went on to voice his opinions. "That great celestial valet???" What is that all about? Is he talking about heaven? Where there will be no more darkness, no pain, no sorrow, no diseases, no death, no tears? The place where we will live for all eternity?
Is God Almighty the "valet" of whom he is speaking? The one who created us, who loved us, who gave His only son to die for us so that we could live forever in spite of our sinful nature?

Try as I might, I just cannot liken my entrance in heaven, to the parking of a car at a restaurant. I cannot picture my Lord as a car valet. No, when I meet Him face to face, I will not hand Him my car keys. I will run, with tears of joy, into His waiting arms and there I will stay forever and ever!!!