The Lighter Load

Last night Carl made some shrimp and rice casserole and we took it over to our dear friend, Deloris' house. We had the best time eating and visiting. After dinner, as we were chatting, she asked me how I was doing with the treatments. I told her I was doing well, all things considered, and the words she said next were music to my ears. She said "You know, as good as you look and have done through all of this, I can't help but believe that you have beat this."

They were such uplifting and encouraging words that I felt like I was a balloon, just released into the air. To "beat this" haven't been words I have had in my vocabulary throughout this time. Perhaps losing my mother to this disease, perhaps being a medical person, perhaps the daunting statistics, but "beating it" just wasn't something I had entertained. It certainly wasn't because I didn't think God was fully capable of a complete and permanent healing, but I also know that "His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts higher than my thoughts". I had gotten into the mindset, that after treatment, I would wait and see what God had planned for the next leg of the journey. Trusting all the while that He would continue to uphold me along the way.

But as I replayed Deloris' words over and over in my head last night, I thought. "Why not assume that I have "beaten it." 3 surgeries, 8 months of chemo and 33 radiations will soon be behind me. Why not get on with my life and believe I have "beat this"?

When I was first diagnosed, I realized I could let this disease make me miserable, or I could let God have it, and believe His promise "that all things work together for the good of those who love Him." (Romans 8:28) I chose to let God have it and keep a positive attitude as I walked the journey.

So why not after treatment? I can spend three years waiting for the cancer to come back, or I can live my life believing I have "beaten it." God alone knows how the journey ends. I know that He will never leave me and that He will walk with me, whether I choose to be miserable or choose to be positive. He always gives me the choice.

But waiting for the "other shoe to drop" is a heavy load to carry. Choosing to believe I have "beaten it" is a much lighter load. And, I believe I'll choose the lighter load.

"For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." ( Matthew 11:30 )

TRUST

As I was driving home from radiation today, the car radio was on a show called "Doctor Radio". It is a satellite station and various types of doctors from New York University have shows dealing with their specialty areas. They pick a topic to discuss, and then callers can call in and ask questions. Today's show was on oncology and there were two oncologists talking about the doctor - patient relationship. One of the doctors made a statement that really struck a chord in me. She said, "The relationship that a cancer patient has with the oncologist, especially when the stakes are high, is an intimate relationship. The patient is placing his life in the physician's hands and therefore it must be one of complete trust."

My first thought was of my relationship with my own oncologist. I have said several times how impressed I am with him. He is an extremely intelligent man. He trains the fellows at MD Anderson cancer center and therefore must be up to date with all the latest studies and trials. He is honest. (Sometimes more honest than I would like). He is kind and gentle. And I trust that he will make the medical decisions that will best influence my care.

But as much as I like my doctor, my ultimate trust is not in him. "Do not put your trust in princes, in mortal men, who cannot save." (Psalms 146:3)
My life is not held in his hands. My intimate relationship is with my Lord and Saviour. The almighty God, who is the great physician, the great healer. In Him I place my life and my trust.

I am thankful that God has placed me in the hands of a caring and competent medical team. I know that He hand picked each and every one. I am grateful for an excellent cancer center so close to home. For insurance that meets my medical needs. For medicines and machines that help to fight this vicious disease. But it is not in these things that I place my trust.

" But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, "You are my God." (Psalms 31:14)

Training Against the Enemy

1/2 way through radiation! Another milestone on the journey!!

On the way home, I saw 7 or 8 police cars surrounding a house and immediately thought of my boys. My oldest son, Eric, is a police officer. Last week he went through an all-day special training called Force on Force. They spent the day training in buildings searching out potential armed suspects. They learned ways to go around a blind corner so their vital organs would not take a hit if the were shot. They practiced shooting left handed in case their blind corner needed them to shoot from that side. They spent the entire day in training against their potential enemy. They practiced their techniques often enough for it to become second nature, should a surprise attack come upon them.

My youngest son, Brent, is in the Marine Corps. He just came back from training to prepare for deployment to Afghanistan. They are trained on how to spot explosive devices hidden by the enemy. How to use their weapons against enemy fire. How to walk through mountainous terrain and wade through water, while still keeping their weapon ever- ready. They train long and hard to be prepared should a surprise attack come upon them.

Although I shudder as a mom to think of my boys in these training fields, I am also thankful for it. For I know, the more prepared they are to fight their enemy, the safer they will be. And every morning I whisper a prayer for their safety and pray Psalms 91:11 upon them that God would "Command his angels concerning you to guard you in all your ways; they will lift you up in their hands, so that you will not strike your foot against a stone."

We too, battle an enemy. Unlike Eric and Brent, who don't always know who their enemy is, we do. We battle Satan as our enemy and his ways are just as covert and dangerous as those whom Eric and Brent go up against. He is disguised in pride, lust, jealousy and anger. He steals our time. He robs us of our joy. He plants doubts. The only way to protect ourselves from the enemy is to spend time in the Word. It is our training field. The more training we have the better prepared we will be against attack from the enemy. Time spent in training is not wasted time.

Are you prepared for the enemy's attack on your life? Because if he hasn't already done so, he stands ready to, at anytime. He tries to attack me often. Sometimes he will catch me totally by surprise. He finds the weakest areas of my life and attacks with a vengeance. It seems the closer I get to the Lord, the more he tries to attack me. The only way to be ready for it, is to train ourselves in His word. We have the weapons. "Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." (Ephesians 6:17)
The more training we have, the better prepared we are against attack. "Direct my footsteps according to your word; let no sin rule over me." (Psalms 119:147)

God's word is our training. Keep it close, read it often. And we will be prepared when the enemy attacks.

I'm looking forward to watching Eric's first softball game tonight. Several of the guys from his squad at the police department have a team, and they laugh and joke and tease each other unmercifully. But they have a good time. And a triple bonus! My grandchildren Dylan, Jayda and baby Cooper will be there. God is good!!