SURVIVOR

One down and 11 to go.

Before going over to the cancer center this morning, I went up to the NICU and visited with my friends. That's always a good way to start the day. Then I headed across the street with my scripture verse Phillipians 4:13 printed on a little piece of paper in my pocket, asking God to give me His strength today.

My treatment was scheduled to start at 9am. It's always a question as to whether the port will cooperate. After the usual bending, coughing, standing on my head and heparin didn't work, they decided to run a bag of fluids through it fast. That did the trick. Yay!! I can honestly say that nothing I have tried deadens the skin when they put that needle in the port. And, why do they have you take a deep breath and count to 3 when they stick you on count of 2.? Dirty trick. I don't trick my patients, even if they can't count to 3 :)
Labs were drawn and sent. When the results came back my white blood cells were very low so I guess I need to be REALLY careful about catching something. And the anemia was .1 of a point over what would have kept me from getting the treatment so I was thankful for that.

This time I brought my laptop to help pass the time. Carl had to take the car in to see about a problem. The first infusion was Benadryl followed by an infusion of Decadron. I e-mailed my friend during the decadron infusion and said "Benadryl followed by Decadron. I think I will now be Bi-Polar." :) Then the infusion of the taxotere over about 2 1/2 hours.

Carl got back just in time for the end of the treatment and we went straight home for some Ritz crackers and anti nausea drugs. This treatment had me feeling sick before it was finished infusing. I think I miss that little "magic" pill.

But the best part of the day came when I got home. A few days ago I had written on my blog about "when you actually feel like you are a survivor." Some say you are a survivor the day after you are diagnosed. I really questioned that and have wondered when I will truly feel like I am one.

Well, I opened up my e-mail and there was a beautiful answer to my question. I believe the answer came from God through Ann, my sister in Christ. I was so uplifted by it, I asked her if I could share it here. Her answer was, to share anything that might help someone as God leads. Here is her answer to "When Are You A Survivor."

Dear Roxanne,
I have no idea how to post something to your blog but I wanted to tell you....You are a survivor each day you awake to God's grace anew. And when your final days come many years from now and you awake to God's Holy arms and His beautiful face, you are a survivor then too. For you have lived on this Earth, battled with Satan's powers, and left a legacy of love, faith and grace. Fight on my dear friend and survivor!
Blessings and God's strength for each new day.
Ann

I AM a survivor for I wake each day to God's new mercies and grace!
And I pray, with all my heart, that whatever trial or battle you are facing right now, that you can know God's fresh new mercies and grace every morning. For then, we can truly call ourselves SURVIVORS!

LAMENTATION 3:23