I got some new markings today. I wasn't sure there was any place to put new marks, but have come to find out there's always a place. The new markings will be for the boost radiations. The "boosts" will be 5 doses of "supercharged" radiation that zooms in on the tumor site to kill off any cells that might not have wanted to leave during the first treatment. Another set of tattoos. The tattoos remain permanent, so there is no more radiation to that area. Once an area is radiated, it cannot be radiated again, as it would start killing off too many of the healthy cells. So, the tattoos alert any healthcare people not to radiate in that area. I think the next time I get a tattoo, I'm going to pick the design and where I want it!!
I overheard a conversation behind me this morning, while I was waiting for radiation. Two ladies were talking about God's will and it caught my attention. After a couple of minutes I heard the one lady bitterly say, "Well, I guess this cancer must be God's will for me; His punishment for me not going to church." I couldn't see who she was, but I felt so sad for her. As I got called into the treatment room, I turned and caught her eye and whispered a prayer for her.
On the radiation table, as soon as the cross on the ceiling came into view, I thought about God's will for my life. God takes no pleasure in watching me walk through the desert of cancer. But, it is His will that I be brought closer to Him. He is trying to accomplish something far greater in my life than would have been possible without the cancer. It is not punishment for my wrongdoings. His will only desires the best for me.
I don't believe it is God's will to watch any of His children suffer. He takes no pleasure in watching us grieve the loss of a loved one. Or lose a job or a marriage. Yes, He allows it. But for no other reason than to accomplish His purpose in our lives. And when that happens, He will reveal His plan to us and we will understand and rejoice!
"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. (1Peter 4:12-13)
Thursday, September 10, 2009
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Hi, Roxanne. I'm so glad you understand that God's will and purpose for you is nothing but Good! I do believe that I am blessed with this cancer. Oh, I'd rather live to be 90 with no ill health and live long life until I keel over on my last day...but in spite of that thought of "ideal life", I am not distraught with my diagnosis last January. I was stunned, yes. But not distraught. God holds on to His people and He never lets them go. I like your reference to I Peter 4:12-13.
ReplyDeleteA really good blog Roxanne. I also beleive that God doesn't make us suffer intentionally, it is all for a greater purpose. He helps us if we ask for His help and He has NEVER let me down.
ReplyDeleteThank you for letting me know the reason for the tattoos! My husband kept asking why they had to be permanent and we pondered the issue for a long while. Now I will be able to tell him. Thank you again.
Sara