"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her.” (Hosea 2:14)
"Because of your great compassion, you did not abandon them in the desert." (Nehemiah 9:19)
"Till the spirit is poured upon us from on high and the desert becomes a fertile field." (Isaiah 32:15)
Last Thursday night and then again on Sunday, I was given the chance to share my testimony to what God has done in my life since starting on this journey. I have tried to do that on the blog all along, but there are many who don't have access to a computer and hadn't heard my story.
But, I didn't know where to start. How could I express in 20 minutes the incredible work God has done since last December? So many examples of His hand in my life, His grace and His strength in the desert. How could I find the words? And the Holy Spirit softly whispered, "I will give you the words." What a tremendous blessing for me to stand and share aloud God's great faithfulness.
In preparation for sharing, I spent much time "looking back". Reliving the time spent in the desert over the last year. I went back and read many of the blog posts along the way. I thought about the first ultrasound findings and how terrified I was. About the very powerful devotion God gave to me entitled "The Purpose of the Desert" that outlined what He would be doing in my life for the next year and beyond.
I looked back at all the people that God had placed in my path both through the blog and in everyday circumstances. The fears, the tears, the "what if's", the ups and downs all along the way. The many people who have touched my life and lifted me up in prayer.
But most of all, looking back, I saw how God has totally changed my life through this desert. I saw my relationship with Him when I entered the desert (which I thought was pretty good) and the depth of my relationship with Him now. How He taught me, through it all, to be dependent on Him for everything in my life.
Last December, if God had told me what my desert would be and given me a choice in the matter, I know I would have said “No Way”. You have the wrong person here. I can’t do that!"
There is a story about a man who died and spent a day in heaven. The next day the angel came and said “there was a mistake and you shouldn’t have died yet.” If you would like, you can go back to earth and live out the rest of your days. But the man had experienced being in the presence of the Holy God and he knew that he could never be happy going back.
And today, looking back, I can only say, "Thank You Lord for not giving me a choice!!"
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
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Your post today meant all the world to me, and I so wish I could have heard your testimony as you shared your journey through the desert. Only those of us who have made that journey can really understand what it feels like to slip your feet into those sandels, and slip your hand into the hand of the One who will walk beside you through that silent, lonely place. Strangely enough, looking back, it wasn't as lonely as I thought it was while going through it. I'm sure you can see it, too, Roxanne. There they all are, standing on the edge of the desert, waving us on ---- all those wonderful people who prayed for us, cared for us, encouraged us, picked us up, wiped our tears, shared their wisdom ---- all who had some little part in helping us take the next step through that desert! And the most wonderful part was finding out that the ONE who took my hand and helped me take that very first step INTO the desert, was still hold my hand when I stepped OUT!!!!
ReplyDeleteI'm still praying for you. Always will! I'm just so thankful to know that no matter what happens to us, God has a plan and somehow knows how to use it all to turn us into gold!!!!! You are shining, Roxanne!
Cora