His Will

I got some new markings today. I wasn't sure there was any place to put new marks, but have come to find out there's always a place. The new markings will be for the boost radiations. The "boosts" will be 5 doses of "supercharged" radiation that zooms in on the tumor site to kill off any cells that might not have wanted to leave during the first treatment. Another set of tattoos. The tattoos remain permanent, so there is no more radiation to that area. Once an area is radiated, it cannot be radiated again, as it would start killing off too many of the healthy cells. So, the tattoos alert any healthcare people not to radiate in that area. I think the next time I get a tattoo, I'm going to pick the design and where I want it!!

I overheard a conversation behind me this morning, while I was waiting for radiation. Two ladies were talking about God's will and it caught my attention. After a couple of minutes I heard the one lady bitterly say, "Well, I guess this cancer must be God's will for me; His punishment for me not going to church." I couldn't see who she was, but I felt so sad for her. As I got called into the treatment room, I turned and caught her eye and whispered a prayer for her.

On the radiation table, as soon as the cross on the ceiling came into view, I thought about God's will for my life. God takes no pleasure in watching me walk through the desert of cancer. But, it is His will that I be brought closer to Him. He is trying to accomplish something far greater in my life than would have been possible without the cancer. It is not punishment for my wrongdoings. His will only desires the best for me.

I don't believe it is God's will to watch any of His children suffer. He takes no pleasure in watching us grieve the loss of a loved one. Or lose a job or a marriage. Yes, He allows it. But for no other reason than to accomplish His purpose in our lives. And when that happens, He will reveal His plan to us and we will understand and rejoice!

"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. (1Peter 4:12-13)

5 Minutes or Less

Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him. (Psalms 37:7 )

As I was waiting for my turn at radiation this morning, I spotted a magazine on the table. The cover article read "How to have the perfect body in 5 minutes a day." It struck me funny that a body that has been used and abused for many years, could become "perfect" in 5 minutes.

With the computer scan check-in system, I was in and out of radiation in "no time at all." No time wasted here.

I stopped by the grocery store for a drink and spotted the line for "10 items or less, no waiting." Ironically, it was the line with the most people in it. But since I had one item, I chose that line. No time to speak with the cashier or anyone else for that matter. No time wasted here.

I stopped by the pharmacy drive- thru to pick up medications. Two minutes and I was done. No time wasted here.

People beep at the person in front of them at the traffic light, lest they would spend another 10 seconds of idle time.

We go out to lunch and the menu reads "10 lunches served in 10 minutes or less". Guaranteed." No time wasted on enjoying the company of the one you are eating with.

A one year bible reading plan. A one minute daily devotional. No time wasted on getting to know the Saviour more.

Why is it that we spend so much time and energy on how to add the number of days to our lives, but want to experience life in 5 minutes or less?

God is a God of forever. A life in Him means a life that will last forever. "The righteous will inherit the land and dwell in it forever." (Psalms 37:29).

LIFE FOREVER. Is it really so important that we rush through?

The Garden

I walked outside this morning to talk to Carl as he was working in the garden. It is a good thing that the plants and flowers are tended to by Carl, because if it was left to me the would all be dead. He was busy pruning back the some of the overgrown plants and trees. I used to think he just went out there with a pair of clippers and started chopping away, but over the years I have learned that there is so much more to it than that. He knows exactly when each type of plant needs to be cut back in order for it to put out new growth. He knows how far back to cut the limbs and branches. He knows to cut out some of the overgrown branches from the bottom, that are stealing vital nutrients from the rest of the tree. He knows there may be bare spots for awhile, but in time they will fill in, full and green.

As I watched him working, it seemed like the garden was a mirror of my life for the last 10 months. My branches were overgrown with many things. A paralyzing fear of cancer, busyness, taking for granted the little things in life, the need to be in control. And all of these overgrown branches were stealing vital nutrients from my spiritual life.

And so the Lord began to prune my branches. But he didn't just start cutting away haphazardly. One by one, in His time, He would cut a branch that was keeping me from growing. Confronting this disease head on helped to minimize my fear and keep it from having a crippling effect on my life. Facing the possibility of a life cut short early, showed me that each and every day is a gift not to be taken for granted. Going through surgery, chemo and radiation has forced me to slow down. And in that slowing down, He has shown me that busyness is not always productive, when it takes away from the important things in life.

I think the biggest area of pruning in my life, has been the need to be in control. He has had to cut many branches from this vine. As a parent, I used to say "there can only be one boss and I'm it." On this journey, the Lord has taught me that only one person can be in control and it must be Him. I have no control over the number of days in my life. I have no control over the rocks or valleys along the journey. It cannot be "all about my will". He has shown me time and again that when I surrender my control and my will, the journey becomes so much easier to travel.

God is still working in the garden of my life. There are bare spots that have been pruned, but in His time, there will be new growth. Because I so often fail Him, there will continue to be branches that will need to be cut back. But with each cut He is pruning out the old to make room for the new. And one day, when I meet Him face to face, the garden will be in full bloom and never fade away.