Monday, February 2, 2009

God's Perfect Timing

I never cease to be amazed at God’s timing. I have had butterflies all day. I hate not knowing what this chemo will do. Not knowing what it will be like. How long until my hair falls out? Will I be sick? Will I look sick? Will I be tired? Will I have a fat face from the steroids? Part of me wants to say forget it, I’ll just live my life like it is and take my chances. But I know better. But the butterflies still won’t go away. Then I called to ask about insurance and the wig. They pay nothing for a wig. And they are expensive. This has just put me into a down mood. Ann is supposed to be coming over at 4:00 and I am worried that I will break down in front of her and drag her down.
Carl called some wig places and got some information. He is so good. How could I do this without him?
I resisted the urge to call Ann and ask her not to come by. I know now that was on a nudge from the Holy Spirit. She came over and I shared with her how scared I was. She is so caring and understanding. We talked about scriptures this year as we have in years past to learn during the Lenton season. As we talked we found that we both wanted scriptures that would help us to know and recognize how to Glorify God more in our lives. EVERY DAY! She said she was moved by a few words from the hymn “Holy, Holy, Holy” that said “All Thy works shall praise Thy Name” . We shared our burdens with each other. Though they are somewhat different they are the same because they are trial in our lives and we have a choice: To glorify Him or ignore the opportunity and try to make a go of it ourselves. After our visit she prayed and as we held hands I felt the Holy Spirit flow in her words and her touch. I felt lifted above the place where I had been 45 minutes before that. As we finished we both said Can you imagine how empty our lives would be without Him? I can’t imagine it and am so thankful that I don’t have to.
And to think without the nudging of the Spirit I would have missed out on this wonderful time with my friend in Christ. Thank You, Lord!
Then, Lori called to wish me well tomorrow. We got to chat for a few minutes which is always a pleasure when she has a few minutes without the girls just to talk.
Later in the day Eric called to ask about tomorrow. He wanted me to know that if it ran late and I needed to be picked up to be taken home he wanted to do that. It meant so much to me for him to offer because I know how crazy busy he is right now. I am thankful for him and his love for me.
We ended this day by sharing a fun pre-chemo dinner/party with our great friends the Zabels. We laughed and ate and fellowshipped together.
Tomorrow is a new day. But this day has again been filled with God showing me that His blessings far outweigh my trials. We just have to be willing to see it through His eyes.