Thursday, July 9, 2009

Hand In Hand

When God led me to start writing this blog, He made it very clear what He wanted me to do with it. But I had no idea at the time, how He would use it. He wanted me to share what He was doing in my life and through my life, on this journey through the desert called breast cancer. For we all have deserts we must walk through. They are just called by different names. I felt like He wanted me to share with others, how He works in the life of a common, ordinary believer going through one of life's many trials. I wanted it to be a means of sharing the medical part of this journey, but much more than that, I wanted to share the spiritual journey. I wanted it to give others encouragement as they walk through their deserts, and help them to feel that they are never alone. I wanted others to see that, though I am a Christian, I struggle with the same worry, failures, disappointments, lack of trust, weakness and other things that are disappointing to God. I wanted to share the good days and the bad days. The laughter and the tears. Because God walks with us through it all.

But I didn't realize what God would do for me in writing this blog. Through this blog, I have met so many people who have blessed my life tremendously. Many of these people I will never see face to face. But the impact they have made on my life is as strong as if they were standing here in front of me. He has provided me with friends who have given me encouragement, nurturing, prayer and a reminder that we are never alone.

I believe when God wants His word out, His hand will be in every single word that is written. Some who read this blog, may never have noticed that there is a link at the bottom of each day's blog that says "Friends shared their thoughts". This is one area where I have been the recipient of God's encouragement along the way. Every comment that I have read, has been timed perfectly by God. The words written have always been the words He knew I needed to hear for that moment. And I know, that God has intended them as another way to speak to me when I needed strength for the journey.

I wanted to share just one example from a recent comment posted on my blog. It is from a dear, sweet lady whom I have never met, but feel as though I have known her forever. (The kind of relationship only God brings about). Her name is Cora. She is a breast cancer fighter also. This particular day I had struggled. I had been to see the oncologist and had chemo and shared my fears and my tears. Here is what she posted:

There is a verse that says, "Now we see through a glass darkly, but then, face to face. . . Now we know in part, but then shall we know, even as we are known." When you travel through this journey called cancer, we can only know in part. We only see shadows in the mirror, and so . . .we act like children, we crawl like babies, and we leap into our Father's arms for security from all we do not know. As we mature in our faith and get to know Him better, we somehow expect that He will tell us everything, show us answers, and we will strut our stuff right through every battle that comes our way. Not so, is it??? It still comes back to "We walk by faith, not by sight!" We can read all the books, search the internet, go to the best doctors, ask all the right questions, and get all the tests, scans, markers, etc., but in the end, tomorrow is still unknown. It all boils down to that simple child like trust that everything --- and I mean EVERYTHING --- that comes our way is first filtered through His fingers of love.
And it is in that one thing that all the "what if's" of this disease melt into a peace that passes all understanding!

I'm preaching to myself here, you know. This past week as been riddled with "what if" bullets for me, and I'm ashamed of it, believe me. I can only be so thankful for His patience and His "I told you so" today!
Wish I could give you a big hug! I know how hard this all is, how scary, and how long and drawn out. Little steps, big breaths, and leaning hard and long on the One who loves you more than life itself!!!!!

What encouragement that post brought to me that day! I have no idea how Cora found my blog but God does. I don't know how anyone finds it, but I know that those who have left comments have blessed me in a way they can never know. I also believe that those very same comments may be words that God wants others to hear. He alone can take what is written and speak it to the individual heart. Thank you to all who share your words of encouragement for they may the very words someone needs to hear. Thank you to those also, who read it faithfully and take the time to pray. For your prayer may be the prayer that changes someone's life. Thank you, also, for passing this blog on to other's as God leads you to. He alone knows who needs it. He alone knows how He will use it.

It is God's blog. It is His story to weave. He has provided the characters in the story of my journey. We are all intertwined and perfectly placed to walk hand in hand through the desert and stand together atop the mountain!