One year ago today, I officially entered the desert called "Stage 3 Triple Negative Breast Cancer." It seems almost inconceivable that one year could bring about such a tremendous change in my life. But I am not speaking solely of the physical change that cancer brought. Yes, 3 surgeries, 10 months of chemotherapy and radiation, hair loss, nausea , bone pain, etc. was physically challenging to say the least.
Our lives were wrought with emotional changes as well this last year. Entering a desert of uncertainty with a disease we were unfamiliar with, presented it's own set of challenges for Carl and I as well.
But I am speaking today of the spiritual change that has taken place in my life in the last year. For it was in the parched and dry desert that God kept me nourished me with living water. In the desert, my fears of cancer were conquered with a confidence in the power of the Great physician. I went from "my control" to "His will". I learned how to be a Mary when I had always been a Martha. I learned the difference between "His peace" and the "peace that the world offers". "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."(John 14:27).
Last week, someone asked me if I thought 2010 would be a better year than 2009. And I thought about that for awhile. In 2009, I saw the birth of two new grandchildren. I watched my youngest son step onto American soil after serving his country in Iraq. Carl and I grew closer to each other in a way that only the Lord can bring together. An ordinary friendship, developed into a spiritual bond cemented through God's love. In 2009, God led me to hundreds of new friends, both close to home and around the world, that I have been able to share my faith journey with through this blog. Carl and I have been lifted up in prayer by more people than we will ever know.
In 2009, the sky was bluer, the sun was brighter, the flowers more fragrant. The hugs of my grandchildren were longer, their laughter more contagious. The love of my husband unconditional. But most importantly, my relationship with my Lord grew much deeper and more intimate.
Often times, in 2009, I couldn't see the purpose behind God's plan. But what I know now is that, despite the desert, His plan for 2009 ultimately brought good to my life, just as He promised. "For all things work together for those who love the Lord." Romans 8:28)
I don't know His plans for 2010. I don't need to know anymore. For His love and faithfulness will be the same in 2010 as it was in 2009 and as it will be FOREVER more! "For great is His love toward us, and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever." (Psalm 117:2)
Now that's a New Year's promise worth celebrating!