Monday, February 23, 2009

On My Heart

I need to share what is on my heart today. Since writing about my low time on Saturday, I have received several e-mail from friends and family saying how sad it made them and how sorry they were that I was having to go through this. When I started writing this blog I thought that I would only share the positive things happening on this journey. But that is not what God wanted me to share. I believe the purpose of my journey is to show people a living, loving, caring God who is personal and real and walks with us no matter where our journey leads.
We all walk through deserts and valleys. Loss of a spouse, loss of a child, broken relationships, troubles with children, illness, financial problems and on and on. Not one of us escapes life without having to walk through a desert. Sometimes we have people to help us walk the desert and sometimes we have to to face the valleys alone. We cry out to God in our despair. We beg God to take away our suffering. We are filled with grief in our desert.
I am reminded of Jesus when he went to the Garden of Gethsemane. He was preparing to die a terrible death through absolutely no fault of his own. As He walked to the Garden,Jesus began to be filled with anguish and deep distress. He said "My soul is crushed with grief too the point of death." He walked a little farther and fell face down on the ground praying "My Father! If it is possible, let this cup of suffering be taken away from me." But the cup of suffering was not taken away. Why? Because God had a much bigger plan in mind. A plan that would change the lives of people for eternity.
You see God doesn't want us to suffer any more than He wanted His son to suffer but He has a bigger plan in place for each of our lives. He doesn't ask us not to cry out, not to beg for the mountain to be moved, not to be angry or confused or even doubt. HE UNDERSTANDS! He's been there! There is no problem that we can face that He won't be there with us if we allow Him.

So it is that I share not only the mountains on this journey but the deep dark valleys as well. I am, by nature, a "positive" person. But I am also human. On this journey I will share the mountaintop experiences and the valleys. But no matter where I am on the journey, my God, who understands, walks with me holding my hand.