Wednesday, May 27, 2009

My Plans

Chemo #5 hasn't been as kind as chemo 1-4. The day started out good. We had lunch for Katie's birthday at Chipotle and I had a wonderful visit with them and baby Cooper. We had a giant sized burrito for lunch and that could have been the start of the problems. Carl dropped me off for the chemo at 2:00, stayed for a bit to see if the port would work and then left to go teach. I had the same nurse Myra as I had last week and she is wonderful. She is both caring, knowledgeable and personable. She also has a passion for oncology nursing and it shows.

Before she puts the needle in the port (the worst part for me) she sprays all around with this so-called numbing spray. I always tell her it must be a placebo because it still hurts to put the needle in. But this time I figured out it must be the real stuff because as I held my shirt over for her to spray she accidentally got some spray on my fingers. She put the needle in the port and it stung like crazy but my fingers were totally numb! (Go figure:)

The port drew on the first time. I think it likes the weekly access. The labs came back and Myra said "did you know you are anemic?" Then she laughed and said "You might look more like Popeye but your labs still look like Olive Oil"

For some reason this time I felt really sick with it. Perhaps it was the burrito right before chemo I don't really know. Katie came down to pick me up and take me home and by the time I got home I was so sick I had to take some Pheneregan. Went straight to bed and when Carl came in a couple of hours later he said I was sitting up in bed talking to myself. Don't even remember him coming in.

Today I woke up expecting to be wired from the steroids like the past few treatments but instead I was extremely tired and fuzzy headed. Not sure if this is what they call "chemo brain" or not. But I really wanted to go to bible study. Carl came and picked me up after bible study because I just didn't feel well enough to drive home. Got home and slept the rest of the day. So much for Wednesday being a good day from the steroids.

I think I have learned something from this though. Just when we think we have our life all figured out, we find out we don't. I had plans today to take advantage of a steroid induced energy; go to bible study, get several errands done, get some sewing projects done and go to choir. But my plans were not God's plans today.

Lately I have enjoyed reading out of the book of Proverbs. Tonight I opened the book and randomly started reading. Here are a couple of the scriptures I read;
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines His steps." (Proverbs 16:9)

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails." Proverbs 19:21

And as this day comes to a close, I realize once again that God directs each step I take according to His purpose. And tomorrow I will go with His plans and not mine. Lesson learned.