I haven't written in a couple of weeks now. I could just say that I have been too busy, but that isn't entirely true. I have found that it is a strange place to be after treatment of cancer. This last week marked the anniversary of losing my mom to this terrible disease. She has been on my mind often. Thinking back over her life and the short amount of time between her cancer diagnosis and death brings occasional butterflies to my stomach. It has been one year since I was diagnosed. The statistics say this cancer will likely return within 2-3 years. I wonder when the clock actually starts ticking and that brings butterflies to my stomach. Heaviness on my heart for one of my children sometimes brings butterflies to my stomach.
So I haven't blogged. But, God reminded me today that this is His blog and he wants to speak through me even if it's about the "butterflies". One of my good friends said, "I have missed your blog. You know you don't have to be sick to blog." Then, part of the pastor's sermon spoke about sharing our faith.
But, perhaps He spoke the loudest to me during the children's moment today. One of the youngest children in our church, a sweet little girl named Skylar, came up to show me her little pink Precious Moments bible. Oh how proud she was of that bible. Though she couldn't read yet, she showed me the pictures and she just knew that the words inside were very special.
She brought her pink bible up during the children's moment. I had a small memory stick that goes into the computer and I asked the children if they knew what it was used for. Several of them knew that it was a way to store information and use it later whenever it was needed. I touched the top of Skylar's little head and said "Did you know that you have a memory stick inside here?" She looked up at me with a child's wondering eyes. I said "Skylar can I see your bible for just a minute?" She proudly shared her treasure with me. I told the children that God uses His word for us to store in our memory, so we can use it at a time we need it. As I opened Skylar's bible, it opened to a picture of a little precious moments girl and the scripture underneath said "Cast all your cares on Him." In that split second, God spoke to me through the faces of those children and that little pink bible. He whispered "Roxanne, cast all your butterflies on me and believe for yourself what you are teaching these children."
Not only did God remind me that He still has words for me to share, but that He still wants me to cast all my "butterflies" upon him. And He chose to speak through the eyes of a child with a little pink bible.
"Cast all your cares on Him, for He cares for you." (1Peter 5:7)