Saturday, July 25, 2009

A Lesson in the Setback

I will not be discouraged by setbacks. For they are only opportunities to review the lesson. God has a lesson for me through this small setback on my journey. I need only to stay close to Him as He reveals it to me.

The Will Of God Will Never Take You

Well, I am sitting here as a patient at MD Anderson writing this blog. Yesterday, when I was about to go to work, Carl said the fingers on my left hand looked a little swollen. But I didn’t pay it too much attention. I headed off to work and was busy throughout the day. Later in the afternoon I noticed a small lump in my neck. I called and made an appointment for Monday morning to have it checked out with my oncologist. A few times during the day my left arm felt sore but I just thought it was some muscle or joint pain from chemo. I had a long sleeved shirt on so I didn't notice my arms at all during the day.

I couldn't wait to get home that afternoon because my granddaughter, Jayda, was coming to spend the night and I was really excited about it. I had gotten movies to watch and popcorn and we had the trundle bed ready for a sleepover. By the time we got home with Jayda and I took off the long sleeved shirt my left arm, shoulder and neck area were red and swollen. We called the on-call oncologist and they wanted me to come right in to the hospital.

I was so disappointed at having to tell Jayda she wouldn't be able to stay the night. In tears, I said to Carl "Is it God's will for me to always be sick? Can I not catch a break? This is not what I had planned for tonight or tomorrow! I just wanted a fun night with Jayda."
But, that was my will.

We took Jayda back and headed to the hospital where they found a blood clot in a large vein in the left arm where my port is. They are treating me with a blood thinner to try and dissolve the clot and will be taking the port out as soon as possible.

My will for today was to be playing with Jayda, but God had other plans. I have no idea why. But He is continually reminding me that it is not about my will but about His. As if God knew I needed some extra reinforcement, a friend sent me this poem today.

The will of God will never take you:

Where the grace of God cannot keep you.
Where the arms of God cannot support you,
Where the riches of God cannot supply your needs,
Where the power of God cannot endow you.

The will of God will never take you:

Where the spirit of God cannot work through you,
Where the wisdom of God cannot teach you,
Where the army of God cannot protect you,
Where the hands of God cannot mold you.

The will of God will never take you:

Where the love of God cannot enfold you,
Where the mercies of God cannot sustain you,
Where the peace of God cannot calm your fears,
Where the authority of God cannot overrule for you.

The will of God will never take you:

Where the comfort of God cannot dry your tears,
Where the Word of God cannot feed you,
Where the miracles of God cannot be done for you,
Where the omnipresence of God cannot find you.

Remind me Father, that your will is perfect for my life. Forgive me when I selfishly desire only mine. Teach me, Lord, to trust in your will and not my own. Amen