Wednesday, September 16, 2009

My Suitcase

Today was the first day of the radiation boosts. I completed the 28 treatments of radiation to all four quadrants, which was good timing, because the skin was sufficiently done. Well-done actually. I initially thought there would be 5 radiation boosts but was told today there would be seven. "He usually does 5" she said, "but he's added a couple of extra on yours." So a couple more days added to the end, but in the grand scheme of things, nothing at all. The boosts are really quick since they only radiate the tumor area, so I was in and out on no time.

I came upon a quick little quote, right before I went into radiation. (Nothing happens by accident) It said, "God planned and packed you on purpose for His purpose." Hmmm... That's interesting, I thought. But as soon as the cross overhead came into view, God flooded my mind with understanding of those words.

God has always had a plan for my life. He has been preparing me "on purpose" to accomplish "His purpose". He has used this walk through the desert of cancer to help accomplish His purpose. But he gave me a suitcase and packed it perfectly for the journey.

Along the road, He has placed people in my life who are fighting or preparing to fight the same disease. The type may be different, the stage may be different, the treatment may be different, but the fear and questions are all the same. The "why me?", "what ifs", where's God, what "happened to my faith"?

I believe, God has allowed me to go through this desert, so I could share my faith, my knowledge, "the things in my suitcase" with others who are not as far along on the journey. I don't say this to boast, for I can only do what God enables me to do and nothing more. "If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness." (2 Corinthians 11:30)
I can't place my things in the suitcase, for then it becomes too heavy and won't close. But, He has packed my suitcase with just the right items to tell others how He has worked in my life along the journey.

It is exciting to know that my suitcase was pre-packed by the Almighty God. And when opened and used according to His plan, I will be allowed to play a small part in accomplishing His purpose in someone else's life. What an awesome privelege!!

Thank You Father for allowing me to be used by you. Let me never forget that you alone have planned each and every step I take and will equip me with all that I need to make the journey. Amen