Wednesday, September 16, 2009

My Suitcase

Today was the first day of the radiation boosts. I completed the 28 treatments of radiation to all four quadrants, which was good timing, because the skin was sufficiently done. Well-done actually. I initially thought there would be 5 radiation boosts but was told today there would be seven. "He usually does 5" she said, "but he's added a couple of extra on yours." So a couple more days added to the end, but in the grand scheme of things, nothing at all. The boosts are really quick since they only radiate the tumor area, so I was in and out on no time.

I came upon a quick little quote, right before I went into radiation. (Nothing happens by accident) It said, "God planned and packed you on purpose for His purpose." Hmmm... That's interesting, I thought. But as soon as the cross overhead came into view, God flooded my mind with understanding of those words.

God has always had a plan for my life. He has been preparing me "on purpose" to accomplish "His purpose". He has used this walk through the desert of cancer to help accomplish His purpose. But he gave me a suitcase and packed it perfectly for the journey.

Along the road, He has placed people in my life who are fighting or preparing to fight the same disease. The type may be different, the stage may be different, the treatment may be different, but the fear and questions are all the same. The "why me?", "what ifs", where's God, what "happened to my faith"?

I believe, God has allowed me to go through this desert, so I could share my faith, my knowledge, "the things in my suitcase" with others who are not as far along on the journey. I don't say this to boast, for I can only do what God enables me to do and nothing more. "If I must boast, I will boast of the things that show my weakness." (2 Corinthians 11:30)
I can't place my things in the suitcase, for then it becomes too heavy and won't close. But, He has packed my suitcase with just the right items to tell others how He has worked in my life along the journey.

It is exciting to know that my suitcase was pre-packed by the Almighty God. And when opened and used according to His plan, I will be allowed to play a small part in accomplishing His purpose in someone else's life. What an awesome privelege!!

Thank You Father for allowing me to be used by you. Let me never forget that you alone have planned each and every step I take and will equip me with all that I need to make the journey. Amen


  1. To those who belong to God, every trial is a privilege. Not that we don't wander off and question and fear and wonder. But if we belong to God, we always come back to that place of faith. And we stand. On the sure and solid ground of God's grace.

  2. Roxanne Thanks..for your comment. Yes its been eight years. I was originally dxed in Sept 29th 1997. Stage 4 Non Hodgkins Lymphoma. There was no donor for a bone marrow transplant at that time we opted for a clinic trial at the advice of my doctor. I got a partial remission till April of 2000. More chemo. Then in April of 2001 more problems however no bone marrow involvement. I had radiation to the head, for an area on the skull. During the testing they found an area by the bowel and pancrease . Which we did further research with my Team of doctors and did a clinical trial. Which has kept me stable. Beauty of it. Not chemo..and the longer I am stable, they can use the same treatment which is now part of everyday treatment for my form of lymphoma. Plus so many new treatments now in 8yrs. So I am coming up on 12 years the end of the month from my original dx date. I am so blessed its amazing. If it inspires you Roxanne...then my job is done. Telling our stories is a pay it forward thing to help others.:) God is good and we are not done yet.Blessings to you.

  3. I think it's great the doctor is customizing the treatment just for you ...

  4. Sorry I've been away, taking a little break! I've caught up on all your postings here ---- so good to know you are nearing the end of it all and doing so well!

    Many years ago, while going through a really hard time in my life, someone said to me, "All that you have is all that you need." I wrote that down in the front of my Bible, have carried that with me all these years and found that it has ALWAYS proven true. Whatever the Lord has packed for me in that suitcase is all I'll ever need to get through life (and sometimes a little extra to share with someone else!)

    So glad to have gotten to know you, Roxanne, as you have been such a blessing to me! Thank you!



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