This day has been one of the hardest days so far on the journey. Holly and the boys came in last night for a visit. Both of them are sick with colds and runny noses. I know that I am not supposed to be around sick people but how can I not hug my grandchildren? How will these babies know why Granny isn't picking them up?
We woke Sunday morning to the chaos and busiyness of little ones in the house. Normally not a problem. But because they were sick I wasn't able to help Holly. We went to church and out to lunch for Greg's birthday. I was too tired to help Holly with the boys at the restaurant. Eric and Katie needed to be at the hospital with baby Cooper who is still under the photo therapy lights. Eric had asked if we might keep Dylan and Jayda for awhile this afternoon to give Noni a little break but I was exhausted and knew Jayda was still not feeling well. Carl said he would take them out to his friends resort and play with them since it was such a pretty day and I could go home and rest.
I DON"T WANT TO REST! I DON"T WANT TO BE SICK! I want to be around my grandchildren sick or well, hold them, hug them, wipe their noses and take them to the park. I have never had anything dictate my life like this before and I had a meltdown. I cried to Carl. I was upset with God for seemingly taking things that are so important to me. The pslams came to my mind and I began to read: "Out of the depths I cry to you , O Lord. Oh Lord, hear my voice. Let you ears be attentive to my cry for mercy. (Ps 130:1-2). The grandchildren went home.
I rested and I prayed. I was again led to the Pslams. I continued to read where I had left off before I went to God in prayer. "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I put my hope. (Ps 130:5)
And so for now, I will wait for the Lord and in His word I will put my hope. Trusting that He knows the desires of my heart and in His great faithfulness will provide all that I need.