Saturday, July 18, 2009

In His Time

Feeling pretty rough again today. I still think they snuck some extra chemo in the last dose just for good (bad?) measure. As long as I don't lift my arms or legs or wander more than 3 feet from the bathroom things are pretty good :)

The radiation oncologist called yesterday to set up radiation. I mistakenly thought it might start this week. But she said it wouldn't start for a couple of weeks. She told me "Most people think that as soon as chemo is done, they will feel better. But in fact they feel worse for "awhile" and we don't want to throw radiation on top of a weakened person right away." I asked what "awhile" meant and she said it was different for everyone.

So I'm spending today wondering what my "awhile" is. I had plans for my time today. I was going to spend time with Dylan, Jayda and baby Cooper. But it's not going to happen. It would be easy to feel downhearted. But I won't give in to those kinds of feelings. They lead nowhere. Sometimes,though, I have to make a conscious effort to direct my thoughts according to what I know and not what I feel. And what I know is, that all things happen in His time and not mine. He is teaching me daily, on this journey, to trust in His promise that He will make all things beautiful "In His Time."