Four days into the 2nd dose of this new chemo has brought on new side effects. I have had a nosebleed since yesterday that doesn't seem to want to stop for more than a few minutes at a time. Last night my bones hurt so bad I finally gave in and took a prescription pain reliever. After sleeping ten hours I woke up feeling like I hadn't slept in a week. Holly and I had planned to go to a ladies luncheon at our church but I was seriously considering just staying home and being a slug. But this has been somewhat of a Mother's Day tradition in our church for many years. I was looking forward to being there with my daughter and visiting with ladies whom I have known since I was a young girl. We got ready to leave and my head got really foggy. I had read about this chemo side effect so I guess I wasn't surprised, but it was bad enough I asked Holly to drive.
The lunch was wonderful and I was thankful for a good appetite today. We brought baby Logan and enjoyed watching him spread cupcake icing all over his face and sing baby songs. After a few minutes my head began to clear and the dizziness subsided.
Now I have to say, before I tell you what happened next, that I am a person who has always had a terrible long term memory, even before chemo. I say that, because I know that what happened today was through the work of God and not my own. I began to look at each of the ladies who were there. Not just glance at them, but really look at them. And one by one, I was able to remember vividly a time in my life when they had taught me something or impacted my life in some way. When I joined our church, I was a young new mom and my mom was far away. For me, many of these ladies became my "mother" in a special way. As I looked at one lady , I remembered clearly the time she showed me how to swaddle my inconsolable crying baby. I looked at the woman next to her and remembered her words of wisdom as she told me that I would not regret being a "little more strict" with my strong-willed little Eric because one day He would thank me for it. And she was absolutely right. I looked across the room and saw one who taught me how to fold sheets and towels so they fit in your closet without being a mess. One lady even tried to teach me to cook. (Well, at least she tried:) Not all the people there had served as a "substitute" mother. Some were friends that I have known for many years but have taught me something in my life by their example. And soon I realized that there were very few in that room today that had not touched my life in some way or another.
And a quiet little voice came into my head. The voice of the Holy Spirit. In His gentle way, He caused me to ask myself: "Why haven't I taken the time to tell any of these special people how they have impacted my life?" Why haven't I said "thank you?" I see many of them week after week , year after year and have never taken a moment to let them know what they mean to me. Why is that?"
I was reminded of a saying that I came across some time ago.
Many people will walk in and out of your life,
But some will leave imprints on your heart
and you will be forever changed.
God places special people in our life all along the way. They teach us, they love us, they leave imprints on our hearts. I have often said at funerals how sad it is that we wait until they are gone to say all the things they have meant to us.
I learned a valuable lesson today. I have taken much for granted. God has placed many special people in my path over the years and I want those people to know what they have meant to me. I want them to know how they have impacted my life and I plan to seek them out and to say "thank you". Not waiting until they are gone, but now, while they are here.
I pray that if there are people in your life who have left imprints on your heart , that you will take that extra moment and tell them. And I'm pretty sure that you both will receive a blessing from it.