Monday, June 15, 2009

As a Child

My heart is so heavy today. My co-worker and friend died yesterday. She was young. She was
vibrant. She was a wonderful NICU nurse. She was a friend to many. But more than all of that, she was a wife and "mommy" to three, beautiful little boys. She went into the hospital yesterday to have her fourth baby and never got to see him.

She died during childbirth. And today there is a grieving husband with 3 young boys and a brand new baby without their mommy. Why, Why Why? Through our tears we shout, "Why did you let this happen God? Why didn't you stop it? Why are you so mean?"

I think that no matter where we are in our faith journey, we can't help in times like this, but to ask why? Maybe if we can see some reason, it will be easier to accept. Perhaps, we are looking for someone or something to blame. If only we could figure it out, maybe we could accept it. And we keep looking for answers to our whys.

As the little children came up for their children's message in church today, I looked at each of their faces. They were smiling. They were happy. They didn't seem to have a care in the world. They weren't trying to figure out the answers to all the problems in their little world. They were simply being children. And my heavy heart was lightened just a bit.

When the children were leaving, I noticed a father in the back of the church holding a baby. The baby didn't seem the least bit worried that he might be dropped. He just assumed that since he was in his father's arms, everything would be alright. He trusted his father completely. That's all he needed to know.

Later, during the sermon, Carl shared a story about a little boy whose father was a surgeon. One day he was playing with his friends and they began to tease him and say, "your daddy is a mean man. He gets people unconscious where they can't do anything. He lays them on a big table and just cuts them right down the middle. Then he takes things out and throws them away. Then your daddy sews them up and takes them to a room where they cry and cry. Your daddy is a mean man." And the little boy said to his friends "He is not a mean man! I don't know why my daddy does that to people but I know one thing for sure. My daddy is a good and kind man and he loves me." And he went off to play. He had no answers for his friends. He only knew that his daddy loved him. And that was enough.

Proverbs 3:5 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding." Children have no answers, they can't lean on their own understanding. They simply know that their father is a kind and good man and that He loves them. That is enough for them.

Oh to have the simple trust of a child!

Heavenly Father, I ask this day that you would bring comfort, peace and strength to all who have loved Michelle. That you especially would wrap your arms around her husband and sweet little boys. Help us to trust you, Lord, even when we don't have any answers. Remind us, when bad things happen, that you do love us. Teach us, Father, to become as little children again. Amen