Saturday, July 18, 2009

In His Time

Feeling pretty rough again today. I still think they snuck some extra chemo in the last dose just for good (bad?) measure. As long as I don't lift my arms or legs or wander more than 3 feet from the bathroom things are pretty good :)

The radiation oncologist called yesterday to set up radiation. I mistakenly thought it might start this week. But she said it wouldn't start for a couple of weeks. She told me "Most people think that as soon as chemo is done, they will feel better. But in fact they feel worse for "awhile" and we don't want to throw radiation on top of a weakened person right away." I asked what "awhile" meant and she said it was different for everyone.

So I'm spending today wondering what my "awhile" is. I had plans for my time today. I was going to spend time with Dylan, Jayda and baby Cooper. But it's not going to happen. It would be easy to feel downhearted. But I won't give in to those kinds of feelings. They lead nowhere. Sometimes,though, I have to make a conscious effort to direct my thoughts according to what I know and not what I feel. And what I know is, that all things happen in His time and not mine. He is teaching me daily, on this journey, to trust in His promise that He will make all things beautiful "In His Time."


  1. I love that song so much! I remember listening to it for the umpteenth time during those horrible chemo days, and the tears just flowing down my cheeks. I wanted so much for it all to be over with, and wondered how in the world any person in their right mind would go back for another treatment. But we do, don't we???? And it will be beautiful again, I promise!

    I can't tell you how long between chemo and radiation because I had surgery in between. But my last chemo was the first of December, surgery January 7, and radiation started the first of March. And that was just about the time I was really starting to feel "good" again. My stitches had just healed up nice, I could just get my arm up over my head, etc. By the time I had my consult with the radiologist, did the simulation, got tatooed, etc., it gave me a few more weeks before the actual radiation treatments started.

    I was amazed at how fast I bounced back after the chemo was over. I'm trusting it will be the same for you, too, Roxanne. It won't be long and you will venture further and further from the bathroom. When I hear you say you are hungry, I'll know things are going to be ok!!!!!

  2. Roxanne, it takes time to heal ... take it slow and easy.


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