I had to call in sick to work today. I was too weak to even pick up my arms. I think maybe they stuck some extra chemo into this last treatment :) I have never liked having to call in sick. For one, we were raised to have a good work ethic. It included going in even when you didn't quite feel like it and giving 110% when you were there. I am thankful to my parents for those teachings. I also didn't want to call in because I love what I do. Taking care of the babies is very rewarding to me and I think I receive more from them than they do from me.
Last night I asked God to help me feel well enough to be able to go to work in the morning. But as the night went on, it became evident that He wasn't going to answer like I had asked. So I finally gave in and called in sick. After hanging up the phone, I said to God, "Was that too much to ask? I didn't ask for a big thing, just enough strength to work today. I don't understand, but I trust you do." And I fell asleep.
This morning, I received my answer. It came from a daily devotional and I felt as though God was directly answering my questions from last night. Here are the words of the writer.
"I wonder whether the way God heals may vary according to His objective. If the primary objective is to show His supremacy, for example, perhaps He might choose to heal instantaneously. If His primary objective is to teach sufficiency in Him or to mature and build faith, I wonder whether he heals through the stitch by stitch method.
Remember, God is far more interested in our knowing the Healer than He is in the healing. God can be vastly glorified through either objective."
"I will bring you health and will heal your wounds.." (Jeremiah 30:17)
God's agenda for me today was not in the healing so I could go to work, but in spending time with the Healer, to know Him more, so that through my life He can be vastly glorified.