CHEMO #2 and BLESSINGS ABOUND!

Monday, day before chemo, was a very long day. I went to work at 5:30 am. Got off at 1 pm and drove straight to Jacksonville to be with my little grandson, Logan, who had been taken by ambulance to the hospital because he was having difficulty breathing. The emergency room was filled with staff who wore masks and patients who were coughing and sneezing. Even though I knew this wasn't the best place for me to be, I asked God to heal Logan and keep me from getting sick also. I thanked Him that I even had the strength to be here to help. WHAT A BLESSING!

Tuesday, chemo day, started at 5am. Holly called from the hospital and said Logan was feeling and breathing better. WHAT A BLESSING! I went in to wake up little Wyatt and he looked up at me from his sleepy eyes and gave me smile that lit up his dark room. Every day should start like this. WHAT A BLESSING!

I got Wyatt to daycare at 6am when they opened. It was hard to leave him so quickly but I knew I would barely make it back to Orlando for an 8:15 appointment with my oncologist and 9am chemo.

When it got to be 8:00 and I was still an hour away from Orlando, I called my oncologist and rescheduled an continued driving. I made it to chemo 30 minutes late but they didn't seem to mind.

I warned the nurse about my persnickety port but she said she had a bag of tricks for that, and indeed she did. She put the non-numbing numbing spray on and put the needle in the port. That is the worst part of the whole treatment for me. I can get stuck over and over for an IV but hate having that tender port accssed. She told me to raise my left arm, turn my head to the right and cough. And sure enough, the port drew back the very first time! WHAT A BLESSING! She drew the labs and sent them. The results came back quickly and all the numbers passed well enough to start the chemo. The hemoglobin is still very low but had come up 3/10th of a point in the last week since taking the iron supplements. WHAT A BLESSING!

The chemo room was freezing today, but I had my quilt and it kept me warm and gave me pleasure to read all the squares with the kind words from my friends. I get so many comments on how nice the quilt is. WHAT A BLESSING!

This time I brought some phenergan with me and took it at the beginning of the treatment. It made all the difference in the world because I wasn't the least bit naseous. Only bad part is that it combines with benedryl and I slept for the next 6 hours. I don't even remember the conversations with Carl on the way home. But I woke up with no nausea! I think I will make that phenergan a weekly tradition. WHAT A BLESSING!

When I finally woke up, I was able to go to Dylan's little league game and Eric's softball game and not feel too sick. WHAT A BLESSING!

Day 1 of chemo #2 is over. Before falling into bed, I spent time on my knees, thanking God for BLESSINGS abound in my life!

THE CLIMB

In the last few days, three different people have said to me, "I just had a friend who was diagnosed with breast cancer and I gave them the link to your blog." And each time I heard this, I thought about the person who had just received that news. I remembered how I felt when I read my ultrasound reports. I thought about how I felt when I woke up from surgery and heard that it was cancer and that it had spread.

I literally felt as if I stood facing a colossal mountain and had to climb over it to get to my normal life awaiting on the other side.

Carl and I love to go to the mountains in North Carolina. As soon as we catch sight of them in the distance we start getting excited. The closer we come to their majestic grandeur, the more in awe we become. We love to go hiking in the mountains. We choose a part of a trail, map out our route, put on our boots, bring our walking stick and some food and water and set out for the climb. When we start at the bottom, the top looks so far away. We can see off in the distance where the trail runs along the peak. We know that the trail will lead us over the mountain but it is too difficult to see until we get closer to it. Though we have a general idea of how long the climb will take us, we're not exactly sure because we don't know what obstacles we might face along the way.

And so we start our hike. The farther away we get from the noise of the highway, the more we can hear the chirps of the birds singing in the treetops, the crackling of the leaves as the squirrels and rabbits scamper around playfully. The babbling of the brook off in the distance. And as we get deeper into the woods, we are no longer able to see the mountain that looms ahead of us. Now we see only a few feet in front of us. We focus on each step along the way, careful not to trip over a rock or falling log in our path. Our eyesight becomes keener. We look through the camouflage of the trees and see a fawn, standing still as a statue, watching us. Our talking now becomes a whisper so we can better hear the sounds around us. We continue to walk. After awhile we stop for a drink and something to eat. Refreshed, we continue along the trail. We know that we are climbing higher and higher because we feel the slight tug on our leg muscles. But the incline doesn't seem overwhelming. We use our walking sticks along the way to knock away hanging limbs above our heads and to probe areas along the path where we are unsure of the footing.

We start to tire and stop to rest before continuing on the path. We are still unsure of how much longer we have to get to the top. We stop to rest again. And just when we feel as if we are too tired to go on,
we see a small ray of light through the trees! We walk a little further and find ourselves at the top of the mountain! The air is crystal clear. The sky is a gentle blue with not a cloud in the sky. And the brilliant sun sets a golden glow on every blade of grass it touches. We made the climb. We made it to the top of the mountain. We could now see the other side.

And I am reminded of the times in our life when we feel like we are facing a giant mountain. We can't see to the other side. We can't conceive of having the strength to make the climb. Even now, with 11 more chemo treatments ahead, followed by 42 radiations followed by major surgery and then waiting to see if it all worked, I feel like I have only walked a few steps up the mountain in front of me.

Are you standing at the bottom of a mountain right now? Our mountains have different names, but they are still mountains. "The death of a loved one". "The breaking of a relationship" "The loss of a home." "Alcoholism" "The loss of a job" "A wayward child". What mountain looms ahead of you?

For me, I refuse to look at the mountain. I will look only at the path that is directly in front of me. I won't try to figure out how much time it will take to get to the top. I will try to be attentive to what God has given me to enjoy along the way. I will take my faith and trust in Him and use it as my walking stick to go ahead of me. When I tire I will rest in Him and ask for renewed energy to go on. And when I reach the top of that mountain and see the other side, I will look up to the Son and give Him thanks for walking with me every step of the way.

And I will remember you in prayer as you make your climb, one step at a time.

Where Two or Three Agree

I have just returned home after a 2 1/2 hour drive and am happy to be out of the van. Partly because of achy bones but mostly because I was anxious to write about the last couple of days.

On Tuesday evening, after the first treatment of Taxotere that morning, I was pretty wiped out. Wednesday morning, I woke up feeling terrible and running a fever. I guess the 3 white blood cells got overwhelmed:) I spent most of the day in the bed, disappointed at having to miss bible study and choir (my two favorite things to do during the week).

Thursday morning, I got up still not feeling well. But, here's where the good part begins. My daughter, Holly, was to be promoted on Friday morning, in Jacksonville, to sergeant in the U.S. Marine Corps. I wanted more than anything to be able to see her receive her ranks. So, I started to pray that God would take control of whatever was going on in my body and give me the strength to go to the ceremony. I knew that God would hear my prayer, but what I didn't know at the time was how many other people were praying for me. That very day, I received five different e-mails and two cards from people who simply said "I'm praying for you" or "you are in my prayers". They didn't know how badly I was feeling nor how much I wanted to go to the ceremony, but God did!!

And this morning, the morning of Holly's promotion, I woke up feeling like a new person! No fever, no malaise and feeling like I might finally be able to keep down some food.

And because of answered prayer, I DID attend her ceremony!!

One by one, Marines of all ages and ranks filed onto the quarter deck, standing at attention, awaiting the entrance of the Colonel. As I stood there, I was filled with gratitude for the dedication of our service men and women and a deep sense of patriotism for our country. When the Colonel came in, he spoke to his Marines and then turned to face Holly who was standing at attention. And as he pinned her new ranks onto her uniform, I watched through tear filled eyes, not with pride, lest I should boast, but with thankfulness for what God has done in her life.

As I was driving home this afternoon, thanking Him for answered prayer, I remembered a scripture. It comes from the book of Matthew 18:20 "Where two or three agree together in my name, there I will be also." I thought about the many people who have prayed for me, some that I know about and many more that I don't. And I just want to say, "THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU" for coming to God on my behalf. For I know that, He hears those prayers and will be faithful to answer them according to His will.