LOOKING BACK

"Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the desert and speak tenderly to her.” (Hosea 2:14)

"Because of your great compassion, you did not abandon them in the desert." (Nehemiah 9:19)

"Till the spirit is poured upon us from on high and the desert becomes a fertile field." (Isaiah 32:15)

Last Thursday night and then again on Sunday, I was given the chance to share my testimony to what God has done in my life since starting on this journey. I have tried to do that on the blog all along, but there are many who don't have access to a computer and hadn't heard my story.

But, I didn't know where to start. How could I express in 20 minutes the incredible work God has done since last December? So many examples of His hand in my life, His grace and His strength in the desert. How could I find the words? And the Holy Spirit softly whispered, "I will give you the words." What a tremendous blessing for me to stand and share aloud God's great faithfulness.

In preparation for sharing, I spent much time "looking back". Reliving the time spent in the desert over the last year. I went back and read many of the blog posts along the way. I thought about the first ultrasound findings and how terrified I was. About the very powerful devotion God gave to me entitled "The Purpose of the Desert" that outlined what He would be doing in my life for the next year and beyond.

I looked back at all the people that God had placed in my path both through the blog and in everyday circumstances. The fears, the tears, the "what if's", the ups and downs all along the way. The many people who have touched my life and lifted me up in prayer.

But most of all, looking back, I saw how God has totally changed my life through this desert. I saw my relationship with Him when I entered the desert (which I thought was pretty good) and the depth of my relationship with Him now. How He taught me, through it all, to be dependent on Him for everything in my life.

Last December, if God had told me what my desert would be and given me a choice in the matter, I know I would have said “No Way”. You have the wrong person here. I can’t do that!"

There is a story about a man who died and spent a day in heaven. The next day the angel came and said “there was a mistake and you shouldn’t have died yet.” If you would like, you can go back to earth and live out the rest of your days. But the man had experienced being in the presence of the Holy God and he knew that he could never be happy going back.

And today, looking back, I can only say, "Thank You Lord for not giving me a choice!!"

One..Two..Three...

My blog has been quiet for a few days. I have been recovering from vacation and resting. I am getting my strength and energy back each day. Now I don't take a shower and desire to go back to bed. Each day is better and better. And I have eyelashes back!! WooHoo. (It's the little things sometimes:)

I have also been given the opportunity to share my testimony about what God has been doing along this journey. I have spent alot of time in prayer and preparation because it is soo important to me that the words that are shared are His words and not mine. That the presentation would be about Him and not about me because it's "just not about me."

God has given me so many new internet friends along this journey who share the common bond of breast cancer. Even though I have never met them in person, the relationships become very strong through time spent in constant communication. When they hurt I hurt, when they jump a hurdle or pass a milestone, I rejoice with them. It is awesome to me how you don't have to see a person face to face to love them. (Isn't that how it is with our relationship with Christ?) We don't see Him face to face but He is a friend who is always there, hurting with us in hard times, rejoicing with us in our good times, loving us always.

This morning, I wanted to ask for prayer for one such friend and sister fighter, that I have met on the internet. Debi has courageously wrestled with the breast cancer alligator, but, lost her battle last night. She leaves a wonderful and supportive husband, Scott (Gasketman), and two beautiful daughters. I wanted to share Scott's post this morning.

One.....Two.....Three..... (by Gasketman)

The Alligator's down for the count Debi's Won!!!!!! Debi snatched defeat right from under the Alligator's greedy snout on October 22, 2009 at 7:43 pm. She leaves the wrestling ring dignified, undefeated and has decided to retire from Alligator Wrestling. Now she is making her home in Heaven, where she has chosen her perfect body, hair style and is enjoying some quality time with her father.

Debi steps onto the shaded wood deck of her newly remodeled mansion and pours her first glass of red wine in over 23 months. The mansion she chose is on the lake, encircled by grandiose cliffs that provide a back drop for her serene little meadow surrounded by trees in her own little slice of heaven, where she can see the glorious sunsets. Debi grabs her favorite Fennwick rod and Sumano fishing reel and sits on the porch as she casts her line into the glassy blue water of her own personal dream lake and enjoys a glass of her favorite Yellow Tail Shiraz wine from Australia and rests from her Championship Wrestling Match.

Debi retires with the memories of two wonderful girls ages 10 and 16 years old, and the support of one tireless side-kick( Gasketman ). She enjoyed 18,254 sunrises and now she is enjoying an eternity of sweet smelling breezes, silver lined clouds, magenta skied, golden gilded sunsets in her own heavenly mansion.

As you read this, could you lift up this beautiful family in prayer? That they may receive God's strength and peace that will continue in their lives until they all meet again.

Enjoy your heavenly sunset, Debi and know that you are loved!

Springs of Living Water

When Carl and I were on vacation in the Smoky Mountains of Tennessee last week, we decided to go on a short hike to a waterfall. My sister Chris, brother-in-law Paul and my niece Jenna went with us. It was a beautiful day and as soon as we started on the trail, it was impossible not to feel God's presence.



We started out at the bottom of the path with enthusiasm and plenty of energy for the journey. We knew that when we reached the top we would be rewarded with the sight of a beautiful waterfall. Even from the beginning of the hike, we were able to hear the sound of water. At times we could see it trickling down from the side of the mountain. Other times we could see the stream rushing along the rocks.

And other times we couldn't see the water at all, but were able just to hear it. But we always knew it was near.

When we got tired we stopped to rest. As we walked along we met other hikers, traveling the same path, headed to the same destination. We stopped several times to admire God's beauty in the many colors of the leaves and His magnificent power in the natural chiseling of the mountain rock that has occurred over thousands of years.

We came across a huge log that crossed our path and several rocks along the way that made our journey more difficult,

but always, we were able to hear the water.

Finally we reached the end of our journey and witnessed God's majesty and beauty in the waterfall. We went behind the water and stood in an area carved out in the mountain rock. Standing atop the mountain, next to the waterfall and listening to the mighty sound of the rushing water was an incredible experience.


I thought about how similar this hike was to the difficult journeys we face in our lives. When we trust in Him to make the journey through the desert, He always provides us water. His living water. He gives us a place to rest when we tire.

He provides friends and family to lift us up and strengthen us along the way.

He leads us to people who are also walking through the desert. Sometimes we can lift them up and other times they will lift us up. We come across obstacles that block our path and many times force us to take a different direction. But His water, like His love, is always there for us. Sometimes we see it right next to us and other times we can only hear the sound. But it is always there. And He has promised that one day, when our journey is complete and we land on the other side, there will be no more tears or sorrow and we will forever enjoy the "springs of living water."

"For the Lamb at the center of the throne will be their shepherd; he will lead them to springs of living water. And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes." (Revelation 7:17)