I think after yesterday's oncologist visit and chemo, God just seemed to know I needed a little boost, because everywhere I turned He was there to boost me up.
When I got home, I received two beautiful cards in the mail from friends at work. The words inside were reminders of how much I am cared about in the NICU. What a lift those cards brought.
Then, I received a beautiful e-mail from Ann. I had told her about the discouraging visit with the oncologist and I know the words in her note were spoken by God, meant for my heart. Part of her note said, "When you were talking about what the doctor had said - I heard God telling you that He has it in control and what He wants from you is for you to trust Him and live each day to the fullest. He has it under control. I am sure that is the scariest thing to trust Him with, given our profession, but He is saying, "you must - I will take care of you - give me your life and let Me hold it in my hands". I'm praying for you and Carl extra special this evening - to just let go and let God."
Not long after that my little grandson Wyatt called and rambled on and on to me in his little 2 year old language. But the words at the end of his monologue were spoken as clear as a bell as he said "I wuv you Granny." Oh God, how good you are to me!!!
About 30 minutes later, my daughter-in-law Katie called and asked if I wanted to hear something. She put her phone on speakerphone and I heard my little grandbaby Cooper laugh out loud for the first time! Oh God, how good you are to me!!!
When Carl finished teaching he took me over to Eric's game for awhile and I watched him play. As I focused on him on the field, he turned into the little 9 year old boy that used to play little league. Where had the time gone? What a joy he brings to my life now. Dylan and Jayda came running over from the playground and covered me with their sweaty body hugs and kisses. Oh God how good you are to me!!!
By the time we got home, the steroids had kicked in full blast. I knew there was no sleep in site so I got on the computer and started reading some posts from people who had read my blog. Notes telling me that they had been blessed by reading the blog. They were uplifting and encouraging, some from people who were fighting the same battle. A reminder from God that He has a purpose in all of this.
Then a little e-mail from Alyssa, a sweet young girl at church, saying I was in her thought and prayers. One blessing right after another, all day long!!
God indeed reminded me yesterday of how close He is and how much He desires to give me joy in my life. And I wonder. Was it more evident yesterday because I was in need? Or has it been evident every day, but I have just failed to recognize it because things were going my way. Sadly, I think it is the latter.
But this morning when I woke up, in spite of the day after chemo symptoms, my heart is filled with trust in Him and a desire to live this day to the fullest. And after yesterday, I can't wait to see what that will bring!!
Great is His Faithfulness. He gives me new mercies fresh Every Morning!! (Lamentations 3:23)