Wednesday, August 5, 2009


I went for my radiation simulation today. What a humbling experience. Being in the medical field, this was the first time I didn't have a clue what they were doing or talking about. I thought it was just a practice session for the "real deal" which starts tomorrow. I thought radiation was as simple as laying on the table and getting a quick x-ray. Boy was I wrong.

When I first arrived, they gave me a computerized card and you scan it when you come for your session to signal the techs in the back you have arrived. The young man who greeted me and showed me the routine was hilarious. His name was Jared and he was the perfect person for the job. From the very start, he had me laughing. Though I wasn't nervous about today, I can see that if someone was to be, he would quickly make them feel comfortable. He showed me the dressing room and said to change into a gown and he would be waiting right down the hall watching Sesame Street on the TV. There were about 50 gowns in the drawer and they were all XX-Large. And each one had 3 arm holes. I was wondering how many 450 pound people with 3 arms use that dressing room. But I just wrapped myself up in it a couple of times and went out to find Jared.

He led me to the room where the machine was and I could'nt believe the size of the thing. I've had MRI's, CT scans and x-rays but this machine was monstrous! The two radiation techs in the room were so kind. Since I was shaking from being cold, they spread my quilt around my legs to take the chill off before they started. The made more drawings on me. Then they went to work. For the next 30 minutes or so they called out numbers like 17.6 SSD and 60 degrees lattitude, 19.8 and 28.4. They would move the machine around and call out some more numbers. Then they went out and took pictures. Then came back and called out more numbers and made more adjustments in the machine. I had no idea what they were talking about, but I didn't have to because they did. The only uncomfortable part of the whole thing was holding my swollen left arm above my head for so long. But it was important not to move while they were getting the machines set up.

I had planned to listen to my iPod during the session and have some worship time. But the machines and table aren't really set up for headphones. So I just closed my eyes and started to pray. Soon, Big Bertha rotated around to where I could see the ceiling and etched in the ceiling was a cross!! Some would say it was there as a measuring point for the techs. I say it was there as a reminder to me of the awesome power of a mighty God. For it is He who gives the knowledge to those who build those machines, set up the machines, those who take all the measurements and those who adjust the dosage of radiation. All knowledge comes from Him.
"For the Lord gives wisdom and from His mouth comes knowledge and understanding." (Proverbs 2:6) "Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, too lofty for me to attain." (Psalms 139:6)

They marked off four different sections on me today. They will radiate each of the four sections for 5 minutes every day for a total of 20 minutes each day for 33 days.

And for that 20 minutes each day, I will give thanks and praise to our Great and Mighty God, for the wisdom and knowledge He has imparted to those He has entrusted my care.
Thank You, Father.


  1. wow. you are really looking out for us. So here it goes, formerly known as annonymous, I am now Petra.

  2. Roxanne - thank you so much for sharing your journey through the desert. You have so much to share. It amazes me how you do find the connections in what you are going through.

  3. Roxanne- This is your cousin from Turlock, CA.
    I dont know if you remember me or not. I am Rosetta's youngest - Terry. I havent seen you in many years not since your family was living in Madera. I dont even know if you were there or not. Your story is touching and isnt it wonderful to know that we have a great and powerful Lord to lean on in times when we go through the valley of death. We fear nothing and know that we will survive to come back up to the mountain top. I would like to more about your family. You said something about a family tree well here is one side of it. I hope to hear from you.

  4. Rox--
    Hang on tight..rad was tough for mom & I know you to have the same triple negative, I pray and hope that it will be an easier time for you. My mom was so very sick and begged for mercy. I know how faithful you are and your relationship with God..I know he will give grace and mercy to you always! He will never give more than our souls can handle. I will be fervrent in my prayers for you!


  5. I could have written your post, as it was EXACTLY what I went through --- from the bar code card, the funny guy, the large gown, the cross on the ceiling, the numbers, etc., etc. Are you sure it's 5 minutes on each spot????? I only got 12 seconds at each spot.

    That machine is BIG, isn't it! And I remember those lonely feelings when the techs would leave that dark room and I would start counting my way to 12. You will get through it! If I could do it, anyone can! Still praying for you, and I know the Lord is using this experience for His purposes in YOUR life and in so many others! You've been such an encouragement to me and I thank you for that!!!!


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