Wednesday, July 1, 2009

It Will Burst Into Bloom!

Some days when you're walking in the desert you get a glimpse of the cactus in bloom! Today has been one of those days.

I have been wired on steroids since the treatment yesterday. Last week after chemo, they gave me some sleep medication to help combat the 48 hours of no sleep after the steroids. But it made me crazy. I was seeing things on the wall, talking crazy and when I looked at Carl his face looked like one of those faces at the fair when you look in the distorted mirrors. Not pretty. So I have been awake and wired since yesterday morning. The nausea is tolerable; just keeping the good old Ritz crackers close by.

I went to have my lung CT scan at the hospital this morning. It only took 2 sticks to get an IV in. YAY! They called in "Mean Jean" apparently known for her expertise in IV's. When she finished, I told her I would have to name her something else because she not only got the IV in after the 2nd stick but she was really nice. During the scan I put in my ipod and listened to the Michael W. Smith songs and had a wonderful worship experience with the Lord. A perfect way to endure any procedure or test.

After the CT scan I visited a friend who is a nurse manager there, ironically in their little oncology unit. I had worked with her on the Mother Baby unit 18 years ago at my hospital. We had a wonderful time catching up on each other's lives over the last 18 years.

After that visit, I went downstairs to see, Debbie, one of my friends who is a chaplain there, but used to be a chaplain in our NICU. When I walked into Debbie's office, there sat a lady I had known almost 30 years ago. She was Debbie's secretary. For the next 35 minutes the three of us sat and talked. It is such an exhilarating feeling to sit with other believers and share openly about what God is doing in our lives. We closed by holding hands and each praying for the others. As I walked out of the hospital, I felt as though I was walking on air and it wasn't from the steroids!

After leaving the hospital I had to stop by Wal-Mart. As I was standing at the counter looking at something, the lady behind the counter came up and asked if she could help me with anything. I said "no thank you, I was just looking." Then she said "You look very pretty." I stopped and looked up at her and said, "You know to a person on chemo, those are wonderful words to hear. Thank You." We got to talking and she told me she was having a biopsy tomorrow for a lump that they found. As we continued to talk, she shared that she had been in a terrible car accident 18 months ago and had nearly every bone in her body broken. She had been through 12 surgeries. But she said, "All of that has made me a more compassionate person. I spent 6 months in a wheelchair and now I have a real understanding of how difficult it is for a handicapped person." She told me that she considered herself blessed and truly a better person than she was before the accident. We both agreed that God allows the trials in our lives to help us to grow. To teach us and make us better people if we will allow Him to do that. What a blessing for me to meet this special lady and I will be praying for her tomorrow. I know that God has hold of her hand and together they will face whatever lies ahead.

Hoping to get a copy of the CT scan tomorrow. I'm praying and trusting all will be well with that. Not even giving the "what-ifs" a chance. I have also called the oncologist and asked for something to sleep during the steroids that won't make me feel "demon possessed." For now, I'll run around like the energizer bunny waiting for the steroids to wear off.

What a wonderful day God has given. How grateful I am that He allows me to catch a glimpse of the flower in the midst of the desert!

Life Can Seem a little prickly sometimes........just before it blooms.

"The desert and the parched land will be glad... It will burst into bloom; it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy!! " (Isaiah 35:1,2)


  1. Yesterday I asked the chemo nurse about sleeping pills and she said I would sleep but it`s not a good sleep and you end up being real groggy all day. She said the side effects are not worth it and that sometimes it`s better to just deal with the sleepless nights caused by the steroids.

    After reading your post and the nurses comments ... I think I will definitely stay away from the sleeping pills.

  2. I agree with Daria! I had the sleep medication and it was terrible the next day. I felt so light headed and nauseated that I had to go back to bed for most of the day! And then dealt with a headache for two days.

    Your post today sounded so "up!" So glad that you are getting through this chemo thing ok. We have a "Nurse Rachett" who seems to be able to do things well, too. A little on the mean side, but she gets it done right the first time! I would rather that, too.

    I didn't see weird things on the wall (except my dog's shadows), but I did become the incredible hulk at times! Not a pretty site. In fact, my oncologist took me off the steroids after the third treatment. I just couldn't deal with it.

    Loved the catcus flower! We have some growing wild here with yellow flowers on them. I just love them so much! Always a reminder that in any wilderness of life we can grow more beautiful and bloom for His glory! Thanks for that beautiful reminder!


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