Thursday, September 3, 2009

The Lighter Load

Last night Carl made some shrimp and rice casserole and we took it over to our dear friend, Deloris' house. We had the best time eating and visiting. After dinner, as we were chatting, she asked me how I was doing with the treatments. I told her I was doing well, all things considered, and the words she said next were music to my ears. She said "You know, as good as you look and have done through all of this, I can't help but believe that you have beat this."

They were such uplifting and encouraging words that I felt like I was a balloon, just released into the air. To "beat this" haven't been words I have had in my vocabulary throughout this time. Perhaps losing my mother to this disease, perhaps being a medical person, perhaps the daunting statistics, but "beating it" just wasn't something I had entertained. It certainly wasn't because I didn't think God was fully capable of a complete and permanent healing, but I also know that "His ways are higher than my ways and His thoughts higher than my thoughts". I had gotten into the mindset, that after treatment, I would wait and see what God had planned for the next leg of the journey. Trusting all the while that He would continue to uphold me along the way.

But as I replayed Deloris' words over and over in my head last night, I thought. "Why not assume that I have "beaten it." 3 surgeries, 8 months of chemo and 33 radiations will soon be behind me. Why not get on with my life and believe I have "beat this"?

When I was first diagnosed, I realized I could let this disease make me miserable, or I could let God have it, and believe His promise "that all things work together for the good of those who love Him." (Romans 8:28) I chose to let God have it and keep a positive attitude as I walked the journey.

So why not after treatment? I can spend three years waiting for the cancer to come back, or I can live my life believing I have "beaten it." God alone knows how the journey ends. I know that He will never leave me and that He will walk with me, whether I choose to be miserable or choose to be positive. He always gives me the choice.

But waiting for the "other shoe to drop" is a heavy load to carry. Choosing to believe I have "beaten it" is a much lighter load. And, I believe I'll choose the lighter load.

"For my yoke is easy and my burden is light." ( Matthew 11:30 )


  1. I'm going to believe that right along with you. :)

  2. I do and have believed that for quite a while! God Bless you.

  3. I will believe with you. I believe that I have beaten my cancer, the treatments I am receiving and will receive are "insurance policies". Yesterday when my veins shut down and they couldnt canulate and it was an altogether horrible experience, I kept thinking that God never gives us a burden we cant carry. I burst into tears and felt like I needed to be done with chemo but my faith kept me routed and we got there in the end.

  4. Oh I so like this attitude ... whatever is going to happen is going to happen ... just go out and live your life.

    I know it's not easy but we can strive towards it.

  5. Carol French, TennesseeSeptember 5, 2009 at 8:10 AM

    I read an earlier entry about "Who Am I"...I wrote this poem on the same subject. I hope you enjoy....Carol
    "Who Am I"

    Who am I,
    I ask so often, a mystery to be solved?
    Just who is this person, and how have I evolved?
    I sometimes wonder, what is the mystery there?
    Am I a simple person with nothing complex to share?

    Who am I,
    The more I ponder, the more the query grows.
    I think there is more to this mind than anybody knows.
    As I contemplate the world within my reach,
    Am I just a grain of sand on life's expanding beach.

    Who am I,
    Someone really important? Do I have a special place?
    Is there value in what I think or am I just taking up space?
    One thing of which I'm certain, I'm valued beyond compare,
    To someone whose opinion, is one I'll gladly share.

    Who am I,
    When asked, He tells me, "You are the place where I reside,
    You only have to call My name to hear my voice inside."
    I often ask this question, "Why would You love me so?"
    When all I have to do is return the love You show.

    Who am I,
    That You should send these Angels to protect and guide.
    Beautiful, loving creatures, standing quietly at my side.
    Always there to remind me how special I am to You,
    To lend a helping hand in all I say and do.

    I AM
    Just one small particle of the ever-shifting sand,
    But my place upon this earth is known by the Great I AM!

    Carol French

  6. I'm sorry, I meant to leave my email in the last post...

    I hope I get to "talk" to you soon. I have some things I'd like to discuss with you concerning my faith. I don't usually read blogs, in fact, this is my first time. I feel God's hand in this....


Feel Free To Share Your Thoughts!