Phillipians 4:13 was my verse for today. "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
Yesterday, Sunday, started out as though it would be a better day, but I struggled getting ready for church and struggled to stay awake during church. After not having kept food down in several days, I was too weak to go into work. So I slept most of the afternoon. Carl and I went to Olive Garden for supper that night and shared a dinner, but my half kept me up sick most of the night.
I really needed to be at work on Monday to be able to get my full time hours in, so every time I woke up sick in the night, I prayed for God to give me the strength to work today. As I was getting ready for work this morning, I figured out that my prayers in the night had actually totaled up to 7 prayers. I thought 7 was a pretty lucky number in the bible and maybe it wasn't just co-incidence that, that was how many times I awoke sick and prayed.
By the time I showered and got dressed I had my doubts, but remembered"( Phillipians 4:13.)" I packed a lunch and drove in to work in the rain. (Phillipians 4.13)
I hauled several bags of Georgia peaches into the hospital to give to my co-workers. (Philipians 4:13).
I took report on my babies seeing the needs that they would have for the next 12 hours. (Phillipians 4:13. )
I was still unable to eat breakfast. ( Phillipians 4:13)
I was unable to eat lunch (Phillipians 4:13)
But I WAS able to take care of my tiny patients in every way that they needed and deserved. (Phillipians 4:13) For the entire 12 hours, when it came to caring for them, God provided all the strength I needed.
And though I left physically tired, I left emotionally rejuvenated at being given His strength to do His work through me throughout this day.
God's promises are true. Even when we have our doubts. (Phillipians 4:13) showed me again today, that when we think we are too tired to go on, He will give us His strength to carry on. And it will always be enough.
Thank you Lord for your strength for this day. For carrying me through. For those that offer love, support, hugs and encouragement along the way. Indeed, your promises are true.
God's promises never fail!!
Monday, July 20, 2009
Saturday, July 18, 2009
In His Time
Feeling pretty rough again today. I still think they snuck some extra chemo in the last dose just for good (bad?) measure. As long as I don't lift my arms or legs or wander more than 3 feet from the bathroom things are pretty good :)
The radiation oncologist called yesterday to set up radiation. I mistakenly thought it might start this week. But she said it wouldn't start for a couple of weeks. She told me "Most people think that as soon as chemo is done, they will feel better. But in fact they feel worse for "awhile" and we don't want to throw radiation on top of a weakened person right away." I asked what "awhile" meant and she said it was different for everyone.
So I'm spending today wondering what my "awhile" is. I had plans for my time today. I was going to spend time with Dylan, Jayda and baby Cooper. But it's not going to happen. It would be easy to feel downhearted. But I won't give in to those kinds of feelings. They lead nowhere. Sometimes,though, I have to make a conscious effort to direct my thoughts according to what I know and not what I feel. And what I know is, that all things happen in His time and not mine. He is teaching me daily, on this journey, to trust in His promise that He will make all things beautiful "In His Time."
The radiation oncologist called yesterday to set up radiation. I mistakenly thought it might start this week. But she said it wouldn't start for a couple of weeks. She told me "Most people think that as soon as chemo is done, they will feel better. But in fact they feel worse for "awhile" and we don't want to throw radiation on top of a weakened person right away." I asked what "awhile" meant and she said it was different for everyone.
So I'm spending today wondering what my "awhile" is. I had plans for my time today. I was going to spend time with Dylan, Jayda and baby Cooper. But it's not going to happen. It would be easy to feel downhearted. But I won't give in to those kinds of feelings. They lead nowhere. Sometimes,though, I have to make a conscious effort to direct my thoughts according to what I know and not what I feel. And what I know is, that all things happen in His time and not mine. He is teaching me daily, on this journey, to trust in His promise that He will make all things beautiful "In His Time."
Friday, July 17, 2009
Knowing The Healer
I had to call in sick to work today. I was too weak to even pick up my arms. I think maybe they stuck some extra chemo into this last treatment :) I have never liked having to call in sick. For one, we were raised to have a good work ethic. It included going in even when you didn't quite feel like it and giving 110% when you were there. I am thankful to my parents for those teachings. I also didn't want to call in because I love what I do. Taking care of the babies is very rewarding to me and I think I receive more from them than they do from me.
Last night I asked God to help me feel well enough to be able to go to work in the morning. But as the night went on, it became evident that He wasn't going to answer like I had asked. So I finally gave in and called in sick. After hanging up the phone, I said to God, "Was that too much to ask? I didn't ask for a big thing, just enough strength to work today. I don't understand, but I trust you do." And I fell asleep.
This morning, I received my answer. It came from a daily devotional and I felt as though God was directly answering my questions from last night. Here are the words of the writer.
"I wonder whether the way God heals may vary according to His objective. If the primary objective is to show His supremacy, for example, perhaps He might choose to heal instantaneously. If His primary objective is to teach sufficiency in Him or to mature and build faith, I wonder whether he heals through the stitch by stitch method.
Remember, God is far more interested in our knowing the Healer than He is in the healing. God can be vastly glorified through either objective."
"I will bring you health and will heal your wounds.." (Jeremiah 30:17)
God's agenda for me today was not in the healing so I could go to work, but in spending time with the Healer, to know Him more, so that through my life He can be vastly glorified.
Last night I asked God to help me feel well enough to be able to go to work in the morning. But as the night went on, it became evident that He wasn't going to answer like I had asked. So I finally gave in and called in sick. After hanging up the phone, I said to God, "Was that too much to ask? I didn't ask for a big thing, just enough strength to work today. I don't understand, but I trust you do." And I fell asleep.
This morning, I received my answer. It came from a daily devotional and I felt as though God was directly answering my questions from last night. Here are the words of the writer.
"I wonder whether the way God heals may vary according to His objective. If the primary objective is to show His supremacy, for example, perhaps He might choose to heal instantaneously. If His primary objective is to teach sufficiency in Him or to mature and build faith, I wonder whether he heals through the stitch by stitch method.
Remember, God is far more interested in our knowing the Healer than He is in the healing. God can be vastly glorified through either objective."
"I will bring you health and will heal your wounds.." (Jeremiah 30:17)
God's agenda for me today was not in the healing so I could go to work, but in spending time with the Healer, to know Him more, so that through my life He can be vastly glorified.
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